Turns out, running away wasn't the best choice I made.

Because the night i ran away, the night I killed Louis and Aneet, albeit "accidentally" was the night i fell in love, and out of it too.

Again.

And killed my love.

Again.

This really HAS started happening with alarming frequency in my life now, hasn't it?
Eh, well, a woman has needs, and men like Neil, James and Louis seem to have the capacity, and more importantly, the inclination to fulfill all my little heart's desires. Plus, old habits die hard.

Back to that fateful night, I ran away from my ungodly-big mansion, with just money to sustain me. I had no idea where I was going; all I knew was that I had to get away from London, it's judgemental people (people who thought that ME, Zxy, was THIS cruel and heartless!!), it's pathetic weather (which wasn;t helping right then...snotty rain EVERYWHERE!!), and most of all, it's VERY efficient police. Not only were the Runners VERY good looking and delectable, but they also took their job very seriously! Some should just chill once in a while, if you know what i mean! *wink*

Anyway, i started walking out of the city, hoping to see a late night stray carriage somewhere, or someone who could guide me to some town. Alas, my luck was playing "snakes and ladders" with me that night, what with the "murders", the stupid rain, and the sexy man i was about to run into.

Now, it so happened that the rain wasn't letting up, and I had taken shelter inside an abandoned, though thankfully clean and dry barn on the roadside. Don't ask me why there was a barn in the middle of the road, just know that it was there, and that I was grateful it was. I dumped my bags of money inside and came out again to look for any passers-by.

That was when I saw what was to be my fourth tryst with destiny.

Love, actually, but then isn't that what life is all about?

The carriage was normal enough. Not too fancy, but then not too plain as well. Just the way I liked them, infact. :)

I went and stood in the middle of the road, making the driver stop and come out to shout at me for standing in the way. I started pleading with him, asking him to please help me, and let me go, when he started muttering something about them Runners.

Then I heard this uber-sexy, dripping with testosterone, completely enchanting voice asking the driver what the trouble seemed to be. The driver, uneducated, ill-mannered git that he was, answered in his gruff drawl, explaing my "predicament", sarcasm dripping in his tone.

I half expected the man to get out and call the Runners himself and make sure I was hauled in(that's what Neil, James or Louis would have done if they were in his place), but what he did next made me sure that he was different from the rest.

He did come out of the carriage, but not to get me caught. Instead, he behaved like a perfect gentleman. He was kind, sincere, polite and not to mention, HOT.

Like really, really, really hot.

Like George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Neil Patrick Harris rolled in one hot.

Or maybe even hotter than that concoction.

He was the perfect male specimen, if I've ever seen one, and BOY, I've seen a LOT of male specimens in my time (and after my time too, but we'll talk about that later, shall we? ). Not ONE of them held a candle to this guy. Okay, maybe Neil did, but the man who stood in front of me had a beauty surpassed by none wh live in this time.

He was clean shaven, with a chiselled jaw, as finely cut as a sculptor's masterpiece. His hair was blonde (that was the ONLY thing I would've changed about the man, sandy hair makes me weak in the knees at first glance. Blonde takes a few minutes to digest, but the final result is still the same, if you know what I mean.), dirty blonde, to be specific, slick and put back in a suave hairdo. Though his eyes were his (and mine, as it turns out) undoing. Those blue-green pools of pure lusty colour! I swear I could've drowned in them! I'd heard his voice, before, obviously, but apparently, I'd falied to recognise it. Only when I'd stared into those eyes for a few seconds that the recognition hit me like a bolt of lightening from nowhere, plunging right into my stomach like one of those daggers I'd used to kill people.

This man was Gregory George.

Also known as Grey George.

Also known as Grey.

Also known as My.First.Love.

All at once, I had a vision of the past blurring by. Like little video clips floating around my head...The George family and ours holdaying together in France, The George boys (Grey and Paul), and Grey's hero-worshipping, snivelly little best friend Zed Smith (he worshipped Grey, of course!), luncheon with the boys, Amanda and me, little TEA-PARTIES that I used to organise for all of us, playing house with me and Grey as Mommy and Daddy, and everyone else as our kids, the tirade was ENDLESS! We had spent so much time together as children that it actually surprised me that I'd completely forgotten the man so quickly! Eh, well, I guess sex (and sometimes the lack of it, as well) does that to people. Then I remembered why I hadn't spoken to him for so long, apart from the fact that he had been away all this while, to Spain, I think.

The George family and ours had had a litte tiff before my birthday (the one on which I killed that bitch, Samantha, and of course, Amanda), and so I hadn't seen them in a long time. Suddenly seeing Grey brought back a LOT of those memories! Sigh, life does take unusual turns, doesn't it?

Grey looked at me weirdly, as if trying to recognise me from somewhere, but failing badly. I quietly whispered, "Grey", hoping that would bring back the memories of the first time I had called him that.

Right after we kissed for the first time.

Right after my first kiss. Ever.

Yes, Grey was my first kiss, let's move past it shall we?

Anyway, turns out that it did.

Because the next two second saw him turn red.

Like a frikking tomato.

Or maybe frikking tomato KETCHUP would be a better comparison. :P

"Zxy?"

"Yes, Grey. It's me."

"I almost didn't recognise you. You look dishevelled. Is something the matter?"

"YES!", I wanted to shout, and run right into his arms, but I controlled myself and instead, said, actully WHIMPERED, a "yes."

"I'm fine though. Sorry for hogging the road, I didn't know you were going to pass this way."

"Are you crazy? how could you know I'd pass this way? An more importantly, what are you doing here in the middle of the road, in the middle of the night? I thought you were married?!"

At this point, I really DID run right into his arms. I was just completely washed out from the whole murder thing, and completely turned on from seeing Grey after such a long time! I hoped Grey stilled liked being the saviour, as he did when we were kids, always trying to save little damsels in distress. Of course, then it meant little girls in pigtils, but I guess tonight, me was all he was going to save.

"I am! I mean, I was, but my husband is dead! My children are at home and there is absolutely no one I can turn to right now!"

Patting my back, he said "oh, now, now, Zxy, I'm really sorry for you. Don't worry, everything will be alright. Shit happens. We just have to move past these things, make a new start, maybe even revisit the past and meet with friends from the past, you never really know what God plans for us....."

While feeding me all this bullsyte, he probably saw the barn, and started leading me up to it, probably to get me out of the cold and wet weather outside. The perplexed driver had long gone to the carriage, probably realising that his casanova master wouldn't be returning anytime soon, especially of a promiscuous-looking woman like me had anything to do with it, if you know what I mean.

So, we entered the barn, him leading me into it, acting all brave and gallant, talking about love and life and ife-lessons all the while.

Now while I LOVE listening to hot men talk about life lessons, church and God (who wouldn't? :p ), there's just so much of it I can take without completely wanting to bach the guy's head into a million tiny pieces (and I think Louis would tell you the exact same thing. If he were alive. Which he isn't. Because I drowned him. In cold water, nonetheless. One word. BUAHAHAHA), so I did the second most effective thing I could.

I seduced him.

And BOY, was it good!

I stood up on my toes, leaning as if wanting to say something, and when he leaned in toward me, I took his face in my hands and planted a smackery right on his beautiful pink lips.

To say he was surprised would be an understatement.

To say he was totally into it too, after the initial shock, would also be an understatement.

So would saying that he reciprocated by grabbing by butt(aaahh).

But to say that he STILL managed to die at my hands would do too.

This was how it happened.

Here we were, completely making out, like not a minute had passed since I'd turned 16, every part of my body wanting him, competely, unconditionally.

He was totally groping my butt, and trying to reach my breats at the same time, so I made things easier for him. I opened up my blouse, and let him continue with the foreplay while I worked on his zipper.

Needless to say, a few minutes of moaning and groaning later, we were buck naked, going at it, RIGHT ON THAT BARN FLOOR! I was having the best sex of my life!

God bless God for doing that to me, Beelzy, though I would'nt EVER forgive you for what happened next.

Here he was, Grey, moaning in pleasure, hell, even making ME moan, when suddenly he called out "Zed!".

Seven times.

In succession.

While he was still inside me.

While we were doing it.

I stopped. Immediately. Which girl wouldn't, if she heard the name of the ugliest kid she'd ever seen come out of the mouth of the most beautiful man she'd ever seen, while she was riding him (or he was riding her, but that's hardly the point, now, is is? ), finally, like she'd wanted to, since she was a teenager?

Seriously, THIS was how my teenage dream was supposed to end?

I had one word, and one word only for what had just happened. FAIL.

Two actaully, if you think about it. EPIC FAIL.

That man was the biggest Man-Bitch I'd seen (or had sex with) in my life!!

First of all, he was GAY (or swinging the OTHER WAY, as they used to call it then), then he was having sex with me (and the best sex ever, too!), not caring AT ALL how I felt!! I'd never been this insulted in my entire life. Even Samantha seemed like a puppy in front of this man-bitch.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?"

"Huh? Nothing!"

"Don't you 'nothing' me, you little freak! I heard you! You called out 'Zed'. And not even once, not even twice but SEVEN times. SEVEN."

"oh, right. I'm sorry, I guess."

And then he shrugged.

It was at that moment that I decided that I was going to kill him.

Right there.

I dind't care if his driver was waiting in the carriage, this man had to die NOW.

So I killed him.

Easy-peasy, Simple-pimple.

I strangled him to death.

Sex always makes me feel giddy, but it also always makes me feel powerful. And I used that power right then to squeeze the air out of that super-hot man's lungs. He went from pink to purple to blue and then to white in a span of a few minutes.

It was the most beautiful sight ever. It almost compared to the vision of AP and ST's dead bodies, but then that was a classic. This was almost there, but not quite.

I guess that was probably because I actually loved this man. Cared for him, even.

But he obviously didn't mind playing with my feelings! Well, then, tit for tat, I didn't mind playing with his LIFE. Beat that, the hottest guy I've seen, dead-or-alive.

But then of course, after the rush wore off, my senses returned.

Oh, damn. I'd just killed another human.

So, (ad don't judge me for doing this because I know you want to), I did the only thing I could do.

I wore my clothes.

Took the money.

And fled.

Oh, damn, I was on the run again.

Ah...when I look back at my time with Louise, I realise how crazy and great my first life was. I had Louise, I had my baby girl Valerie, my ungodly mother, Susanne Thomas was dead (as was her monstrous boyfriend, Alexander Pinto)...what more could I ask for? The only thing I needed was an addition made to my staff. So, before we delve into this story, I take this moment to tell you about how two innocent lives could have been spared...had they really been innocent.
So, anyway...the story goes back to around the time when Valerie was two months old and I was beginning to get bored of her. She was a baby, so she couldn't really do a lot so she was hardly the source of entertainment I was looking for. I know you're judging me, but please take a moment before you do that, to look at how awesomely awesome I am. You can't judge awesomely awesome people.

Anyway...so, Valerie was getting boring and Consuela wasn't that interesting either. So, I decided to employ someone who would take care of them while I could delve into my interests of erotica. Again, don't judge me. I am a woman, I have my own needs.

I got a lot-a lot of applications. People from India, China, Persia, France, and even Germany, somehow wanted to be employed in the royal household of Zxy Hemendip. I decided to go for the weird looking Indian who didn't speak a lot. He was weird looking in that his ears reminded me of pixies and his voice, though not part of his looks, reminded me of a squeaking woman. His name was Aneet Batel.
Weird name, weird looks, weird voice...now, we're talking!
I can still remember the day we first met. He was the strangest bloke I had ever met. The first thing he said to me was, "Mm?"
In my own head, I went "eh?"; to him, I just gave a weird expression.
"Where is your baby, child?"
Why, in the name of beelzebub, would he call me a child??
I put that aside and handed over Valerie to him, still amused that I had hired a male nanny. A manny.


So, with the responsibility of Valerie given away, I headed to my room where Louise was waiting with a navy suit on. (I know, right! Best thing ever!)

"Hello, sailor", I said as I entered, only disappointed when I saw that he wasn't wearing it. He was in his regular clothes, getting ready to leave.
"Sweetheart, I'm afraid I have to leave. One of your neighbouring dukes seems to be in urgent need of me."
As far as I could remember, I had no neighbouring dukes.
"Neighbouring dukes, darling?"
"Yes. Do you remember the George family?"
"Do you mean the family of the Duke of Lancashire?"
"Yes, them. The George family is back in the public eye and this time, Sir Grey George is with them."
As he said that, a sea of memories washed my mind and I was taken back to the time when I was seventeen....Grey....the first boy I had ever kissed....the boy who had had to leave town because his mother didn't wish him to be around me. That bitch...
But I outgrew my one-day long love for Grey. It wasn't the most difficult thing I had done, see.

"Will you be gone long?" I asked him.
"I hope not. They say that the father needs me. I should be back for dinner, I suppose", he said and kissed me goodbye.
I watched his carriage move away and realised that I needed a hot bath more than anything else. Not because I was tired or something but because...you know...I was bored.
"Aneet!" I called out.
The male nanny came running out with Valerie is his hands.
"Give me the baby...you can go and heat up some water for me...I simply must have a hot bath..."
"Yes", Aneet said, looking majorly confused. But I thought it was his usual look so I didn't give it much thought.
I played with Valerie for a while and called out to Aneet again.
"Aneet, is the water coming along?"
"Mm?" his squeaky voice croaked. "Yes, child...the water is ready."
"Excellent" I murmured and set Valerie in her cot. I walked out of the nursery and found Aneet waiting for me with the water.
"Yes, thank you, Batel", I said as he poured it out into the tub and left.
Not every hot bath goes the way this one went. Every hot bath involved a maid or an attendant setting out the hot water for me. Then I would get them out and undress, thinking about whoever the lover was at that time. This time, it all went the same way...I was just starting to think about Louise...when all of a sudden...out of nowehere...I put my foot into the water...and realise...that the water...is....wait for it...keep waiting...and I hope you're not from Canada, because the next part of the sentence is...COLD!
The water was so frikking cold! I said, "hot bath!" and THIS is what he makes out of it??
"Aneeeeet???" I called out, wrapping myself in a warm towel.
"Mm?" he said, stepping into the bath chamber/
"Do you remember exactly what I asked you to do?"
"Yes, child...you wanted me to get you water...so I did."
"No...what I wanted you to do was to get me water for a hot bath."
"It's the same thing, child", he mumbled.
"Is it? IS IT? Why don't you get into the tub and test it for yourself?"
And I did just that. I pushed him into the tub and didn't let him resurface for like a whole minute. He struggled to come up and I was sure he was panting in the inside and praying for dear life. But I couldn't help it. It was the one thing I had wanted. Hot water. Even that he couldn't get straight. How dumb was he? His pain gave me such joy...his cry gave me every reason to smile...
Soon, however, I realised that it was time to let him resurface. How much should I punish a bloke who can't get the water right?
So, I decided to relinquish control and let him breathe.
But he never did.
It was the worst thing ever!
Who the frikking Beelzebub would take care of my baby?
The man wouldn't breathe. He actually wouldn't breathe. The wuss couldn't survive breathlessness for a minute! Biggest douche ever!

I decided not to panic. The guy was dead. So, what could I do?
The first thing I did was to conclude that I was not to blame. Sure, I was the one who was holding him back. But this was an unintentional murder. I wasn't even that mad at him. I was angry, of course I was. But all my previous murders had had a reason. Like when I killed Samantha, she had insulted me. I killed Amanda because she was a born bitch. I killed my mum and Alexander Pinto because they were privately setting up their own private world of joy when they didn't deserve it at all. I killed James (sniff, sniff* because he suspected me. I killed Sam Viktor because he caught me and his brother going at it. It was pretty embarrassing. The seventh murder...that of Aneet Batel...it had no motive. He just got my water wrong. I would never kill him for that!
Eh...maybe he did deserve it. Because if you really think about it...you'd know that he was dull, boring, encouraged reading Chemistry, discouraged having fun and effectively brought life to a standstill. All these thoughts brought me to the conclusion that Aneet Batel probably did deserve death.
So, with the guilt factor gone, I sat down to think. Where would I keep the dead body? With the others, I had no problem. Samantha had drowned. Amanda...well, I had buried her because that was how mad I was at her. With my mum and AP, the hospital had taken full charge. Then James...ah, the poor thing...he had fallen off a cliff. "Accidentally". Sam Viktor was buried properly because people thought he had killed himself and Louise really helped me convince them that he was capable of doing that.
So, how should I have disposed of his body?
But would you look at my luck?
Just as I dat thinking about a way to get his body out, I heard the main door creaking open, Louise's voice penetrating the walls of my royal Edwardian style home. Edwardian, as in, it resembled the Edwardian style of the future. We are still in a time prior to the Edwardian era :)
I panicked. Louise was home. Aneet Batel was dead. I was in a towel.
It was the wildest moment of thought of my first life. For a minute, I swear I considered jumping out of the window. I did. I really did. But then Louise stepped into the bathroom.
"Hello, my lady", he said.
Oh, well...who knew? Had I just thrown my towel aside, he probably wouldn't have noticed that there was a dead man sitting next to me. But I suppose I was too late. He did notice Aneet Batel and was so shocked, I swear I haven't seen a funnier expression in my entire life.
"Zxy?!"
"Yes?"
He looked up from Aneet to me and I knew he knew that I had killed him. Accidentally, sure. But even so.
"Another murder? Do you never learn?"
"It was an accident!"
"Do you not care about your own children? For a minute, spare them a thought! Spare them your love and care and think about how dangerous it is to be with you! Think about the poor Aneet Batel's family."
"I do think about everything, Louise! Please don't think of me as a heartless package!"
"But, it's true! You are a heartless package!"
"A heartless package? If you call me that again, I swear on Beelzebub, they would be the last words you utter", I said, giving the exact same look I give to people when I am really mad at them. I guess that's what got Louise all terrified and he stopped talking.
"How did it happen?"
I narrated the entire incident of the water and everything and when satisfied that the story was over, he stood up and called out to Consuela.
"Where is Valerie?"
"I have no idea", I answered, looking up to look for her.
"Alright, that's it", Louise put his foot down. In his head *sniggers*
"You are a senseless woman, Zxy", he said. "And I don't think it should go on. You just don't seem to care about your children!"
"I do care about my children, Louise!"
"No, you don't!" he said and went on to point out the things that could classify me as an irresponsible mother. Gosh...he just wouldn't stop talking. On and on and on he went...at one point, I tried to squint my eyes and look at him. I realised that he resembled Lord Byron a little bit.
But goodness me and my arse, he wouldn't stop! So, I did what any sensible and freakish woman would do.
I put his head into the water and didn't let him resurface so that he can't talk.
And he didn't come up either.
Oops!

I could not believe it. The one man I had cared for after James...was gone,too. Dead. Like killed dead.
I killed him :O
The attendants would be suspicious, I knew. So, I did the best thing a sensible woman would do.
I fled. I decided to escape the town and start over with my father's money. This city was far too judgemental and if they ever came to know about the murder of Louise...boy, would I be the queen of controversy for the seven millionth time!

I could hardly believe it when it happened. I had never expected myself to be the one doing it, the worst crime against makind, taking away someone's life. And not just someone's life...my husband's life. Like I had mentioned it before, I owed it to him to be a good wife and not kill him. But he didn't give himself any other option. I knew then that I would move on with his memories in my heart and his child, first in my belly and then in the world. I just didn't know how I would manage having the baby without James by my side. With Consuela, it had been different. I had not known in the initial months what assistance was like. But James had to step into the scene and burst my bubble. God, I loved him! Of course, I loved Neil more...but yes, for having been there for me, I did love him so! With so much passion, devotion and such lust...

He was a lucky man.

Now, because that was, like, the fifth murder I had committed, people started worrying about me. Sigh...people, people, people. Why can't people just bugger off and mind their own businesses? I could not believe that my own father thought I needed some sort of medical assistance. "Medical" doesn't sound as harsh as I make it out to be, I know. But that was exactly what he had said to me right after the death of my mum, Suzanne. Of course, I had killed his wife so he'd be mad at me. But that didn't explain why his friends from Pakistan would want me to get myself checked. So, after countless talks with my dad as he tried to convince me of the merits of getting myself checked, I relented. I would go to the psychiatrist. So, he got me an appointment and I waited unwillingly for the seventh day of the week to arrive. The appointment was for seven in the evening and that was strange given how that was pretty late, considering the fact that it was in the 1800s. I got ready that day, dressed in the most inappropriate way so that the doctor would be freaked out and would leave me alone. From what I had heard, the doctor who was going to report was this man...a certain Dr. Clement Lagrange from Marseilles. I hated that guy. He was willing to come to England from France to check me but to do the same to my mum had been tiresome when I had suggested it.

So, anyway, I knew that I could freak him out by using the inappropriate clothes and everything. Plus, I was at another advantage, given how I was pregnant and hence, could talk to him about morning sickness and stuff and make him feel sick, too. When the bell rang, I was prepared. When the attendants opened the door and another came to announce his arrival, I wasn't.

"Dr. Sam Viktor", bowed Maria.

I was shocked, of course. Who wouldn't be if you expect an ageing doctor but a young and rather annoying one shows up instead?

I looked at her for a second with wide eyes and then said, slowly, "Let him in, Maria."

She bowed again and sent him in.

"Miss Hememndip", he took off his hat and bowed. Yes, bowing was rather important back then. When I do it, now, people laugh at me.

"Dr. Viktor", I did the same.

"You may address me as Sam, Ms. Hemendip", he smiled. "You may wonder what I am doing here, Ms. Hemendip. I am here on behalf of Dr. Lagrange. He was detained in Dashton Street for some other important business. His brother, Mr. Alain Lagrange II, has taken ill and may not be able to attend to you."

"That is quite alright, Mr. Viktor. I am sure you will take up his job and do it with utmost delicacy and perfection", I smiled, however furious I may be in the inside. See, we used to show manners to perfectly hateful people, too.

"Ms. Hemendip, you forget; you may address me as Sam."

"Well, then, you may call me Zxy, Sam."

"Zxy? What is your name, Zxy?"

I looked up at him, my eyebrows forming a deep frown. How could anyone say anything like that even in jest?

Given the fact that he was my "doctor" and that I still had to get him to not check me, I resolved not to let my sharp tongue get him. Instead, I just gave him a goofy giggle. He thought he was being funny.

God, how blonde was he?

"So, Zxy...how do you feel right now?"

"I am quite alright, Sam."

"Do you miss your husband?"

I looked up at him.

What was he, stupid?

James had been the best thing that could ever have happened to me. After Neil, of course, but how could anyone doubt the fact that a widow would miss her dead husband? It was only then that I realised that I was, in effect, a widow. That somehow didn't suit my image.

I immediately realised my need for either sex or murder but shoved it away when I realised why that douche of a man, Sam Viktor was in my room. But I did have to admit that he was the handsomest doctor I had seen in a while. After Dr. Mike, obviously. But Sam did have that German feel to him and had he not been this blonde, I probably would have used him for the fulfilment of my formerly described needs.

"Zxy, I hope you know that you are not alone in this dire task of getting over the painful memories of the death of your husband. But, it is something you have to go through and I assure you that I will be with you. Whenever you need me, I will be there."

So, maybe I could use him...

"Thank you, Sam. That is very generous and sweet of you, I dare say."

He smiled. "God Bless you, Ms. Hemendip. Zxy, I mean. Or is it Zemendip?"

So, maybe I wouldn't.

"It's Zxy Hemendip", I corrected him in spite of his unruly behaviour. I know that it isn't that sensitive a thing but I am rather proud of my name. To me, "Zxy" sounds sexy!

"Yes, that is correct", he bowed as I think he realised there was nothing else he could do.

"Zxy, I regret to inform you that tomorrow, I will be unable to attend to you as Mr. Alain Lagrange needs my assistance as well."

"Oh, dear; I hope everything will be well with him. I hardly know him, of course; but one does feel distressed upon hearing news of illnesses."

"Yes, I'm sure you perfectly understand how significant this is for me. But on account of its significance for me, I do not wish to deprive my patients of suitable aid. My brother, Louise Viktor VII will attend to you tomorrow morning. I shall see to it that nothing brings any sort of displeasure to you. I shall return after a while to make sure things are well."

With that, he bowed again and left. I was left baffled. How on earth did all the doctors have enough time to visit the poor soul of Zxy Hemendip? Could they not let her live her life (well, "lives" in my case) the way she wanted to? I know it's pretty self centred, but I really did start worrying about my own health in case my regular supply of blood didn't reach me.

The next day, I decided not to bother too much but dress appropriately. After all, the big guy upstairs had decided long, long ago that I would not have happiness as part of my life's tales. So, why bother? It's just too much work and by now, I think you may have gathered that I am a very lazy countess.

So, anyway; after breakfast, as Marci, my attendant, rubbed my feet and I sat with my eyes closed, the door opened and revealed Maria.

"Dr. Louis Viktor."

"Send him in, Maria", I said, straightening myself up.

And so, Louis Viktor stepped in and changed my life forever.

Maybe not forever, but, yes; he most certainly did change my life for a little more than three weeks.

"Ms. Hemendip", he said, taking his hat off and bowing with a different sort of charm.

"Dr. Viktor", I bowed. I tried not to gape at what I found the best face I had ever looked at or the best physique I had ever set my eyes upon or the best eyes I had ever seen.

"Please...call me Louise", he smiled.

Though he was Sam Viktor's brother, he held no resemblance of any sort with him. He was tall and well built, his suit clinging to what perfection I could make out of his body as seen from the outside. His eyes were a hazy shade of brown and his hair a matching colour. He seemed ahead of his time, for he had already learned a new way of styling his hair. He had cut it off in such a way that only a layer of hair was formed on his head. When he took off his coat, as did most doctors while treating their patients, I could see his arms through the transparency of his shirt and I was pretty certain that they were strong muscles. Now, back in those days, having muscles was not very common. Finding an exceptionally good body was like finding gold. Well, that is in my world. Most other women were painfully content with their men, so long as they could continue their gossips with their girlfriends.

"I feel obliged to assure you that I will try my best to be of utmost support to you in times of dire stress for you, Zxy. May I call you Zxy?"

"Yes; I wish you would", I said and then shuddered when he looked at me with those painfully gorgeous eyes. Fortunately, he just smiled a genuine smile and didn't say something like, "You're strange."

"I am here to listen, Zxy. Talk to me. Talk to me about anything you like. You don't have to talk about the death of James or Mrs. Hemendip or Mr. Pinto. I know that Mr. Pinto was a respectable, albeit monstrous man, and all the events against him were justified and quite intense. But you don't have to think about them. Talk to me about anything under the sun and I will listen to you. Loosen yourself a little, Zxy."

And just then, I did the worst imaginable thing.

I cried. In front of a smoking hot guy.

"There, there..." he put his arm around my shoulders. "All will be well."

"James was...the most wonderful thing that happened to me", I sniffed. "And I...killed him...oh, God; why did AP have to do ST in the first place? None of this would have happened!"

"Hush..." he slowly rocked me back and forth as if I were a little child. Under the influence of his powerful arms, I really did feel like one. "Hush, Zxy...we are all with you."

"Are you?" I looked up at him. Now, it seemed sort of awkward when I did that because I was in his arms and his eyes were just so deep that I could feel myself drowning in them. So much so that I suddenly felt blind and deaf to everything except for Louise and his essence. I continued to look into his deep eyes and so did he. Then he initiated the first step by moving slowly forward. He kept coming closer till all I could feel was his breath. He came closer still and then breathed down my neck, "Yes."

He resurfaced and I knew that it was more than I could bear. When he kissed me, I responded violently. Withing minutes, our clothes were nothing more than a pile, set aside as if unnecessary. By the end of all the action, because of his perfect moves, I was compelled to say, "Oh, dear...bless us and save us...Louise...you were the best I ever had!"

"I shouldn't have done this, Zxy. It is immoral to have physical intimacy with my patients."

"Oh, Louise...don't be this hard and fast upon yourself. Try to make mistakes. Mistakes make your life seem so wrong and enjoyable!"

"I don't know what to say!" he said with a small smile.

"Don't say anything, then", I said, placing my index finger over his lips.

He grinned. "I don't know what to do!"

I smiled and then whispered, "Do me."

He looked at me once more and we embarked upon that journey again. Only this time, we had to cut it short. Because guess who enters!

"Sam!" said Louise huffishly.

"Oh, no..." I sighed.

"Lousie!" Sam shouted.

"Relax, Mr. Viktor. Please do not shout in my home."

"I am shouting at Louise, Zxy. He has done something immoral and it is utterly despicable in the world of doctors."

"I didn't want to be a doctor in the first place!" Louise said, suddenly. "I wanted to be a musician."

"Well, I don't give a tiny rat's arse about that!"

"Sam!" I dramatically and hysterically said.

"I am going to have to do what is right, Lousie. I will have to kill you", he said.

I couldn't take it, obviously. I mean, the guy had just given me the best of my life.

"Alright, then", Louise stood up. "You can kill me. I have done wrong and I shall be punished for it."

Meanwhile, however, I was doing something else.

Sam walked over to him. I carefully wanlked towards Sam, too.

"I have no other choice, Louise, you understand, don't you?"

Louise nodded. Oh, what a brave man.

He took out a dagger, rather frail looking. On examining it, I suppose he realised it, too.

"Zxy", he looked at me. "You don't happen to have your old dagger, do you?"

"Oh, I do have it", I said, and on retrieving it, had the best shot of my life. "Take that, you blondie!" I said as I pierced it neatly into his body. As the beautiful blood came oozing out, I had no words for the joy that it brought to me. I turned to look at a shocked Louise.

"I love you, Zxy!" he said.

Aah, 16 July, 1809.

What a night it was!

One of the most splendid, ever!

I woke up to find myself lying on a hospital bed not unlike the one on which i had killed Suzanne and Alexander. Except, in this case, i wasn't being stabbed. Instead, two nurses were caressing my forehead, James by my side, calling out to me, shouting for Sam Viktor when he saw me stir. A few minutes later, when everyone calmed down, Sam Viktor came up to me and told me......that i was pregnant!

I was shocked out of my wits? Me, pregnant? Again? Oh, no!

No, no, no, no! This was not supposed to happen right now! I was in the prime of my life! Another child right now would mean disaster for me! I couldn't do this to anyone, least of all, myself!

In a fit, I told Sam that he was wrong. There was no way in hell that I could be pregnant!

Sam looked at me quizically, as did James. Only then did it occur to me that the expected me to be HAPPY! Of course, I should've known.

So, i gave them a huge grin and pretended to be surprised instead of shocked. I hugged James, congratulated him on becoming a father, and then came to askthe inevitable question expected of me..."Where is Mother? Why don't I see her with you, James? Is she all right?"

Tears came to his eyes. How would he tell his dear pregnant wife that her mother was just brutally killed? But full marks to him, he didn't try to hide anything. He came straight to the point and told me everything. Of course, he didn't know who was responsible, but he did imply that he would definitely find out who did this.

I have a confession to make. I got scared.

I thought James actually would get to the bottom of the murders and being the righteous man he was, get me adequately punished. So I did what any sane person would do. I killed him.

*******

killing James was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, and that includes the ordeal i went through while nursing his son.

I had decided that I would kill James only after the birth of his child, so as to secure his fortune.

So almost a year to the date I killed my mother, i murdered James.

It was pretty simple. I didn't want blood, but poison would mean immediate suspicion on me. So, I did the most logical thing I could. I threw him off a cliff. Plain and simple. Organise a picnic, schedule it for a rainy day, go to another place to escape the weather, land up on a cliff, push the husband off! What could possibly go wrong?

My luck held, and nothing did. Everything went according to the plan. The murder was clean, marked accidental.

It was beautiful!!

Now, some people may find blood gory and disgusting, but that is SO not the case with me. I love blood. It's the essence of a person. Whenever I killed (apart from that bitch Samantha), I always made sure I spilled some of their blood (or in Suzanne's case, a LOT). Letting the blood flow brings a kind of finality to the whole life-death situation. it also makes ME let go of the person I'm usually killing.

Needless to say, Suzanne's and Alexander's death was a party for me. Smelling that rich, thick, intoxicating smell of blood made me high, making stabbing them SO much more fun!!

I can feel you judging me, but before you do, just DON'T. Those two deserved it!

I can forgive a fling. God knows I've had more than my share. But I really can't stand a life-long affair! That's just unpardonable!

So I took that knife (scalpel, now I know it's called) and plunged it hard into the naked flesh of twisted bodies I saw. As it turned out, I had stabbed my mother. Her cries of "Alllllllllllliii.....OHHH" became "AAAAAHHH..that really hurt!!". But that was the only sound I heard. After that, I became blind and deaf to everything else but the blood and the sounds of the stabbing. I knew that someone would enter the room soon, hearing my obscenely loud mother and her lover, but I guess people at the hospital knew about my mother and Alexander, so no-one came in for quite some time, giving me lot's of time to escape!

But i took my time. I wanted the job to be done well, no matter how much time it took. Turns out, not much. It was actually all over in a few minutes. Their bodies stopped writhing after a few minutes, gone from white to red in the space of a few minutes. there were so many stab wounds that it was almost impossible to count them (though later I came to know that there were 37 stab wounds in all...oh how I congratulated myself!)!

My hands were covered in their blood, my gown almost soaked through, but I kept going. Every stab for me was a way to come to terms with what I had seen happen on that sterilized bed and let me tell you, it wasn't easy at all.

Soon, I started regaining my senses. I realized the enormity or what I had just done and stopped to look at my handiwork. Despite myself a smile crept onto my face. They looked like carved animals, every bit of them covered on blood. Their faces were frozen in pain, an expression I'm not going to forget for the rest of my life! It was the sweetest thing in the world. One of Alexander's eyes were halfway open, as if in the middle of a wink, though his bloody lips told an entirely different story. They were rounded in an "Oh" as if surprised by what was happening. Like I said before, it was beautiful!

My mother's face was different. Her hair, shaken loose out of her prim and proper chignon was strewn across her face like two horns sticking out from her head. Blood was trickling out from her mouth, snapped shut by the impact of one of the blows that landed in her cheek. Her eyes were open, terrified, a thing of beauty, I must say!

I started retreating, knowing that I probably didn't have a lot of time left before someone came a-knocking. I slipped quietly out through the door, into the deserted passageway which had led me to Dr.Alexander's "treatment" room. It was conveniently devoid of anybody who might accidentally discover them, which in turn was lucky for me!

I went out into a WC, splashed my face with lots of cold water to clean it and remove the blood from it, so I looked ashen. Then I thought of Neil, my first love and made tears fall down my face. I screamed my voice hoarse, crying all the while. When I looked at my reflection again, my face had changed from being red, puffy, angry and menacing, to white, sunken, tear-streaked, tired and most of all sad, in just a matter of a few minutes.

Then I ran out to where I knew I'd find someone, still crying, my voice reduced to almost a whisper, breathing shakily, heart beating madly with the euphoria of the murder and the running around.

Eventually, I found James, talking to Dr, Scott Valenzio, looking extremely worried. As I came near, I heard him say my name along with "they're really close...if anything happens to Suzanne, God knows how Zxy will react...she needs her right now, what with Consuela and me..her new life...I hope she's okay.."

Oh, James, little did you know!

I ran straight into his arms, seeking "comfort" in his big arms, still crying uncontrollably, unable to form words. He hugged me for a few minutes, then pushed me away to look at the wreck I had become, soothing me with that seductive voice. But then he saw my bloody gown and stopped.

And gasped.

And then shouted.

"Oh my Dear God, Zxy! what happened? are you all right? Is that blood? Is that your blood? Who did this to you?"

I shouted for joy inside, and still crying, said to him,"...Mother...Dr. Alexander...room..naked...blood...dead...tell me...not true...how could she...now she's gone...dead..get to them...please...Consuela...take care..."

I guess I didn't know it then, but I was pretty tired after all I had done, for the next moment, I fainted into oblivion.

Wow...labour was really hard...and especially when I saw the size of the thing that came out of me...Dear God, I wish that on no one!!

Needless to say, Consuela became the heart of my family. Everything revolved around her. My parents, James' parents, Maria, and even Dr.Michael (with whom I had a little old fling...but more on that later...) agreed that though overweight, she was the most beautiful, cherubic baby they had ever seen!! I was, of course, DELIGHTED!! I knew Neil's (and mine) child could never be ugly...but such perfection!!...she really was blessed, Consuela!! Pity she died so young!!

But I don't think I can talk about her death right now....I have to unload the smaller things first... like James' and my mother, Suzanne's death. Should I start with James or Suzanne?

Oh well, let's start with my mother first...she WAS the one who died first!!

My life was bliss with James before she had to come and screw it all up!!

James...AH...James...he was a prince!!...He was the most perfect man I had formed an alliance with (excluding Neil Patrick, of course!!). He was my best friend, lover, confidante and the step-father of my child....He had given me everything when I had nothing and I owed it to him to be a good wife and not kill him..but like I've said so many times before, life isn't always fair...

It was the night of 16 July 1809. I remember the date distinctly because the next day I found out that I was pregnant with James' son...but let's get to that later.

So, 16 July...it was evening time and the three of us were just about to retire to bed. Little Consuela was already asleep in James' arms, and he was about to tuck her in bed, when there was a loud "RAP RAP RAP" outside. Both of us were startled...here it was, 8 in the night, and someone had come knocking at out doorstep (of course these days if someone comes to meet someone, it's rude to go BEFORE 8, but those were those days...I mean, when did you think that "night" *wink* chocolate "After Eight" was invented??

Anyway, it was after eight and there was a knock on the door...of course, we weren't expecting anyone so it was kind of startling. I told James to go and check who was at the door at this hour, when we should've been ...ahem...canoodling...

So, James went to check out who cam calling at this hour. Turns out, it was Micheal.

Yes the same Micheal who gave birth to Consuela. He came in and sat down, shivering from the rain and cold outside.

"I regret to inform you but your mother , the delightful Mrs. Suzanne Thomas has taken ill.

"What? what happened to Mother? She was completely fine when I paid her a visit with Consuela the other day!", I said.

"Well, she was fine until about 6 this evening. Then, suddenly she started having stomach pains and spasms. Your father rushed her to the Rosita Gerald Hospital, where she was immediately attended to by our two specialists, Dr. Alexander Pinto and Dr. Scott Valenzio. They were able to stabilise her condition for a little while, but then then she went from bad to worse not half an hour ago. They haven't been able to find out what was wrong with her but she is continuously getting worse. Your father has sent for you to be with him and the rest of the family in this troubled time just in case something happens. It would bode well if we hurried right away!!"

James immediately shot up with,"what are we waiting for? Let's go!!"

So we went. I wish now that we hadn't.

For if we hadn't, Suzanne and Alexander wouldn't have died at my hands.

Ah...those two died happily...in each others arms....

To know why, I'll have to take you back to 1777, the year I was born. It was July, just before I had been born. My mother, that bitch, Suzanne, was in the hospital, waiting for my awesome arrival. She was well..."bored" and really wanted something to..."do"...

She looked around for my father but he had gone out on an urgent errand. She tried to wait until he came back to inform him of her little "problem" but by then she was getting too restless.

Who else would walk into her room then, but our young, dashing physician Alexander Pinto, coming to check on her? Needless to say, one thing led to another and well..events transpired...

Apparently, since then he and my mother would meet up and "do" things...

Now, I didn't know about their little affair till the day I killed them, so you can imagine my surprise when I ran to my mother's room and found the now elderly Dr. Alexander with her, her almost screaming out "Alllliiiiiiiiiiii" due to his expert treatment....

To say I went into a rage would be an understatement. I took the nearest, sharpest thing I could find, which sadly, turned out to be a stray knife left by one of those stupid, muddle-headed nurses. I took the knife and plunged it as hard as i could into the twisted mass of bodies that made up my mother and the doctor.

The next thing I remember, is BLOOD.

So, I was twenty seven, single and pregnant.

My God, pregnant.

Completely pregnant.

Hurrah!

I knew that society would not accept a bastard...but, oh, what the hell! I knew that my child would turn out to be really cute...you kow, because he was Neil's child...so, I didn't really mind adding on to the population of the world . My parents were so freaked out! I may not have mentioned it but I think it's pretty obvious that I have an obsession with freaking people out. I don't know what it is...I suppose it's just the way people look at me, like, "Okayyyy......she is weird."

I liked freaking those people out especially because they were so clever...realising the fact that I am weird only after I freaked them out...

So, those nine months were...awes-ful...those mornings of projectile vomiting...those evenings of thinking about the child's father, hoping for that sinful feeling of lust at his mere thought to move away from me as it dragged fire through my body...those nights of waiting....and those moments of bliss when I would realise that I had, in effect, a human baby inside me, as I nourished it with the little love I could. That's right; I have feelings, too!

So, I lived my life as best I could, what with all the society drama I had to go through. I couldn't attend Lord James' Annual Ball and I hated that. You know how people have favourite outings, concerts and stuff like that, my favourite night of the year used to be Lord James' ball. He was this thirty year old, really cute Lord of Montfort and he would have this string quartet organised for any couple engaged to be married. That year, Neil and I had decided that we would announce our engagement, freak our respective parents out and then dance to the music of the string quartet and win at the couple game. The couple game was this thing...it was not official but we knew that all the couples had it going. You know, the which-couple-is-hotter thing. We all go through it. Of course, I went through it for more than my share and needless to say, I absolutely loved it! So, anyway, Lord James would have this string quartet organised and Neil and I would day dream about being part of the dancing team. This year, of course, he chose to die. So, we couldn't dance. And because of the whole being-pregnant thing, I couldn't go to the ball either because of the whole bastard thing I mentioned before. Because they didn't want to face the people and tell them that I was pregnant, what with my suddenly, slightly jutting out belly and unnatural glow, my parents decided not to take me. They left me alone and all I got to do was pregnant stuff while they went and danced all night. It was elegant dancing, too! I was so sad, I resolved not to write to Lord James about how sorry I was for not being able to attend his ball. Then they would have to answer him and they wouldn't be able to lie because...well, why would they? They are horrible at it.

So, I did just that. I didn't write to him.

Little did I know that the opposite would happen.

He didn't ask them why I couldn't come. He came home directly to ask me why I didn't.

'Miss Hemendip', he bowed. 'How do you do?''
How do you do, Lord James? Why, I had hardly expected you at this hour. The ball-
'The ball is incomplete without you, Ms. Hemendip.
''I beg your pardon?''
I do not see why you would choose not to grace our humble abode with your presence.
''Lord James...I cannot explain why. It is beyond my reach...I am under great stress, Lord James.
''What could possibly bother you, Zxy?'

At first, I was shocked to hear him call me "Zxy". Then the reason of my shock changed when he took me by my hand instead. Now, even as a Lord, you are not authorised to take the daughter of a Count by the hand. You would freak the daughter out even if she was aroused in a bitterly sweet way.

'I...cannot lie to you, Lord James.'
'Then, don't.'
'It's difficult.'
'I will make it all easy for you', he brushed my lower lip and before I knew it, he pressed his lips against mine.
'You seem so taken aback, Zxy', he whispered huskily. 'You cannot tell me that you hadn't expected this from me. I am sure you recollect how I would wait for just a glimpse of you back in our childhood days. That never stopped.'

Now, I was taken aback. He was strange. I had no clue about the one-glimpse thing.

'I don't know what to say, James. You...you leave me speechless.'
'Don't say anything. And I am aware of the situation you are in.'
'Are you, now?'
He nodded and carressed my belly lightly, fidgeting with the knot that held my dress in place.

What followed is...rated R. If I write about it, I am sure to make eyebrows raise even higher. Just remember that by the end of his meeting, I was scared that I may get pregnant again.

So, that was what happened that night. But we soon developed really strong feelings for each other and he looked really hot; so, marriage was inevitable. My child was no longer a bastard and it was on 17 July, 1805, that my beautiful little baby girl, Consuela was born. Yes, but it wasn't as easy as writing about it. No man can go through it and still survive. They could die. And they would die.

It was at seven in the night, right after dinner, that I had this really weird feeling. A weird sound followed and a weird pool of water was formed on the floor. I was freaked out. What would you do if you get up from the table and this pool just flows out of nowhere?

So, I looked up at James and he went in his sing song voice-'Are you quite alright, Zxy?'

'I don't know, James-ugh!' It was the weirdest sound I had ever made.

'Maria!' he called out to the attendant. 'Summon Dr. Michael, quick!'I was taken to our bedroom and we waited for that flimsy doctor to come. Within five hours of constant screaming, contractions and annoying pushing, my beautiful little baby girl, Consuela Wilkinson was . She was heavy, though; 7 pounds. Over time, she lost weight. But that was far ahead in the future.

In the second half of the first quarter of my life.