I could hardly believe it when it happened. I had never expected myself to be the one doing it, the worst crime against makind, taking away someone's life. And not just someone's life...my husband's life. Like I had mentioned it before, I owed it to him to be a good wife and not kill him. But he didn't give himself any other option. I knew then that I would move on with his memories in my heart and his child, first in my belly and then in the world. I just didn't know how I would manage having the baby without James by my side. With Consuela, it had been different. I had not known in the initial months what assistance was like. But James had to step into the scene and burst my bubble. God, I loved him! Of course, I loved Neil more...but yes, for having been there for me, I did love him so! With so much passion, devotion and such lust...

He was a lucky man.

Now, because that was, like, the fifth murder I had committed, people started worrying about me. Sigh...people, people, people. Why can't people just bugger off and mind their own businesses? I could not believe that my own father thought I needed some sort of medical assistance. "Medical" doesn't sound as harsh as I make it out to be, I know. But that was exactly what he had said to me right after the death of my mum, Suzanne. Of course, I had killed his wife so he'd be mad at me. But that didn't explain why his friends from Pakistan would want me to get myself checked. So, after countless talks with my dad as he tried to convince me of the merits of getting myself checked, I relented. I would go to the psychiatrist. So, he got me an appointment and I waited unwillingly for the seventh day of the week to arrive. The appointment was for seven in the evening and that was strange given how that was pretty late, considering the fact that it was in the 1800s. I got ready that day, dressed in the most inappropriate way so that the doctor would be freaked out and would leave me alone. From what I had heard, the doctor who was going to report was this man...a certain Dr. Clement Lagrange from Marseilles. I hated that guy. He was willing to come to England from France to check me but to do the same to my mum had been tiresome when I had suggested it.

So, anyway, I knew that I could freak him out by using the inappropriate clothes and everything. Plus, I was at another advantage, given how I was pregnant and hence, could talk to him about morning sickness and stuff and make him feel sick, too. When the bell rang, I was prepared. When the attendants opened the door and another came to announce his arrival, I wasn't.

"Dr. Sam Viktor", bowed Maria.

I was shocked, of course. Who wouldn't be if you expect an ageing doctor but a young and rather annoying one shows up instead?

I looked at her for a second with wide eyes and then said, slowly, "Let him in, Maria."

She bowed again and sent him in.

"Miss Hememndip", he took off his hat and bowed. Yes, bowing was rather important back then. When I do it, now, people laugh at me.

"Dr. Viktor", I did the same.

"You may address me as Sam, Ms. Hemendip", he smiled. "You may wonder what I am doing here, Ms. Hemendip. I am here on behalf of Dr. Lagrange. He was detained in Dashton Street for some other important business. His brother, Mr. Alain Lagrange II, has taken ill and may not be able to attend to you."

"That is quite alright, Mr. Viktor. I am sure you will take up his job and do it with utmost delicacy and perfection", I smiled, however furious I may be in the inside. See, we used to show manners to perfectly hateful people, too.

"Ms. Hemendip, you forget; you may address me as Sam."

"Well, then, you may call me Zxy, Sam."

"Zxy? What is your name, Zxy?"

I looked up at him, my eyebrows forming a deep frown. How could anyone say anything like that even in jest?

Given the fact that he was my "doctor" and that I still had to get him to not check me, I resolved not to let my sharp tongue get him. Instead, I just gave him a goofy giggle. He thought he was being funny.

God, how blonde was he?

"So, Zxy...how do you feel right now?"

"I am quite alright, Sam."

"Do you miss your husband?"

I looked up at him.

What was he, stupid?

James had been the best thing that could ever have happened to me. After Neil, of course, but how could anyone doubt the fact that a widow would miss her dead husband? It was only then that I realised that I was, in effect, a widow. That somehow didn't suit my image.

I immediately realised my need for either sex or murder but shoved it away when I realised why that douche of a man, Sam Viktor was in my room. But I did have to admit that he was the handsomest doctor I had seen in a while. After Dr. Mike, obviously. But Sam did have that German feel to him and had he not been this blonde, I probably would have used him for the fulfilment of my formerly described needs.

"Zxy, I hope you know that you are not alone in this dire task of getting over the painful memories of the death of your husband. But, it is something you have to go through and I assure you that I will be with you. Whenever you need me, I will be there."

So, maybe I could use him...

"Thank you, Sam. That is very generous and sweet of you, I dare say."

He smiled. "God Bless you, Ms. Hemendip. Zxy, I mean. Or is it Zemendip?"

So, maybe I wouldn't.

"It's Zxy Hemendip", I corrected him in spite of his unruly behaviour. I know that it isn't that sensitive a thing but I am rather proud of my name. To me, "Zxy" sounds sexy!

"Yes, that is correct", he bowed as I think he realised there was nothing else he could do.

"Zxy, I regret to inform you that tomorrow, I will be unable to attend to you as Mr. Alain Lagrange needs my assistance as well."

"Oh, dear; I hope everything will be well with him. I hardly know him, of course; but one does feel distressed upon hearing news of illnesses."

"Yes, I'm sure you perfectly understand how significant this is for me. But on account of its significance for me, I do not wish to deprive my patients of suitable aid. My brother, Louise Viktor VII will attend to you tomorrow morning. I shall see to it that nothing brings any sort of displeasure to you. I shall return after a while to make sure things are well."

With that, he bowed again and left. I was left baffled. How on earth did all the doctors have enough time to visit the poor soul of Zxy Hemendip? Could they not let her live her life (well, "lives" in my case) the way she wanted to? I know it's pretty self centred, but I really did start worrying about my own health in case my regular supply of blood didn't reach me.

The next day, I decided not to bother too much but dress appropriately. After all, the big guy upstairs had decided long, long ago that I would not have happiness as part of my life's tales. So, why bother? It's just too much work and by now, I think you may have gathered that I am a very lazy countess.

So, anyway; after breakfast, as Marci, my attendant, rubbed my feet and I sat with my eyes closed, the door opened and revealed Maria.

"Dr. Louis Viktor."

"Send him in, Maria", I said, straightening myself up.

And so, Louis Viktor stepped in and changed my life forever.

Maybe not forever, but, yes; he most certainly did change my life for a little more than three weeks.

"Ms. Hemendip", he said, taking his hat off and bowing with a different sort of charm.

"Dr. Viktor", I bowed. I tried not to gape at what I found the best face I had ever looked at or the best physique I had ever set my eyes upon or the best eyes I had ever seen.

"Please...call me Louise", he smiled.

Though he was Sam Viktor's brother, he held no resemblance of any sort with him. He was tall and well built, his suit clinging to what perfection I could make out of his body as seen from the outside. His eyes were a hazy shade of brown and his hair a matching colour. He seemed ahead of his time, for he had already learned a new way of styling his hair. He had cut it off in such a way that only a layer of hair was formed on his head. When he took off his coat, as did most doctors while treating their patients, I could see his arms through the transparency of his shirt and I was pretty certain that they were strong muscles. Now, back in those days, having muscles was not very common. Finding an exceptionally good body was like finding gold. Well, that is in my world. Most other women were painfully content with their men, so long as they could continue their gossips with their girlfriends.

"I feel obliged to assure you that I will try my best to be of utmost support to you in times of dire stress for you, Zxy. May I call you Zxy?"

"Yes; I wish you would", I said and then shuddered when he looked at me with those painfully gorgeous eyes. Fortunately, he just smiled a genuine smile and didn't say something like, "You're strange."

"I am here to listen, Zxy. Talk to me. Talk to me about anything you like. You don't have to talk about the death of James or Mrs. Hemendip or Mr. Pinto. I know that Mr. Pinto was a respectable, albeit monstrous man, and all the events against him were justified and quite intense. But you don't have to think about them. Talk to me about anything under the sun and I will listen to you. Loosen yourself a little, Zxy."

And just then, I did the worst imaginable thing.

I cried. In front of a smoking hot guy.

"There, there..." he put his arm around my shoulders. "All will be well."

"James was...the most wonderful thing that happened to me", I sniffed. "And I...killed him...oh, God; why did AP have to do ST in the first place? None of this would have happened!"

"Hush..." he slowly rocked me back and forth as if I were a little child. Under the influence of his powerful arms, I really did feel like one. "Hush, Zxy...we are all with you."

"Are you?" I looked up at him. Now, it seemed sort of awkward when I did that because I was in his arms and his eyes were just so deep that I could feel myself drowning in them. So much so that I suddenly felt blind and deaf to everything except for Louise and his essence. I continued to look into his deep eyes and so did he. Then he initiated the first step by moving slowly forward. He kept coming closer till all I could feel was his breath. He came closer still and then breathed down my neck, "Yes."

He resurfaced and I knew that it was more than I could bear. When he kissed me, I responded violently. Withing minutes, our clothes were nothing more than a pile, set aside as if unnecessary. By the end of all the action, because of his perfect moves, I was compelled to say, "Oh, dear...bless us and save us...Louise...you were the best I ever had!"

"I shouldn't have done this, Zxy. It is immoral to have physical intimacy with my patients."

"Oh, Louise...don't be this hard and fast upon yourself. Try to make mistakes. Mistakes make your life seem so wrong and enjoyable!"

"I don't know what to say!" he said with a small smile.

"Don't say anything, then", I said, placing my index finger over his lips.

He grinned. "I don't know what to do!"

I smiled and then whispered, "Do me."

He looked at me once more and we embarked upon that journey again. Only this time, we had to cut it short. Because guess who enters!

"Sam!" said Louise huffishly.

"Oh, no..." I sighed.

"Lousie!" Sam shouted.

"Relax, Mr. Viktor. Please do not shout in my home."

"I am shouting at Louise, Zxy. He has done something immoral and it is utterly despicable in the world of doctors."

"I didn't want to be a doctor in the first place!" Louise said, suddenly. "I wanted to be a musician."

"Well, I don't give a tiny rat's arse about that!"

"Sam!" I dramatically and hysterically said.

"I am going to have to do what is right, Lousie. I will have to kill you", he said.

I couldn't take it, obviously. I mean, the guy had just given me the best of my life.

"Alright, then", Louise stood up. "You can kill me. I have done wrong and I shall be punished for it."

Meanwhile, however, I was doing something else.

Sam walked over to him. I carefully wanlked towards Sam, too.

"I have no other choice, Louise, you understand, don't you?"

Louise nodded. Oh, what a brave man.

He took out a dagger, rather frail looking. On examining it, I suppose he realised it, too.

"Zxy", he looked at me. "You don't happen to have your old dagger, do you?"

"Oh, I do have it", I said, and on retrieving it, had the best shot of my life. "Take that, you blondie!" I said as I pierced it neatly into his body. As the beautiful blood came oozing out, I had no words for the joy that it brought to me. I turned to look at a shocked Louise.

"I love you, Zxy!" he said.