With Jambiya, Snako, Murdoch and Patricia out of the way, I thought it was all finally over, and Id finally be able to spend the rest of the day in some semblance of sanity.

But alas, fate intervened YET again. This fate is a bitch only, I tell you. :/

As I made a sneaky exit out of the house, i ran smack into what I first thought was a ghost. When I realized that it was in fact NOT a ghost, I was just pissed and scratched the bare chested man in front of me on the shoulder, giving him scratch marks to rival those of a blood hound's. Then I stepped back to admire my handiwork and went all 'Egad'.

'i thought i'd shot you, you bitch!'

'well, you obviously didn't, Zxy, but you shot my beb!'

'Your 'beb'? YOUR 'beb'? 'Beb' is my word, and my word only, Jambiya. You have absolutely no right to use it! If you want to call your precious little sweetheart something, find your own terms of endearment! Be original. First Patricia stole my 'dude-ah', and now you AND her are stealing my 'beb'.'

'Hey! Say what you want to me, but you'd dare not open your piehole against my Patricia. I will not listen to a single word spoken against her! And now that she's dead, at least don't taint her memory'

'Huh. K.'

And then he gave me this look. This look that made him look like he was about to cry. It made me laugh, really. He looked adorable that way, like a little puppy, almost! So I thought I'd be nice, and reached out to where the blood on his shoulder was almost dripping. Big mistake, as it turns out. For him, of course. Zxy never regrets anything she does. :)

'i'm sorry about the blood. I didn't mean it...you just happened to catch me by surprise, and that's never a good thing to do with me. Here, I happen to have a kerchief on me.'

I took out my kerchief, and started dabbing at the blood on his shoulders.

'Zxy.'

'Humming. How did you know my name? :P'

'ugh! Forget it!'

'no, no. Tell me. Why the serious Zxy? Am I hurting you?'

'No, it's okay. I just wanted to ask you...you had a clear shot at me in there. Yet you missed. Quite on purpose, I believe. Why?'

'Oh, that? I was just shooting erratically. Blindly, almost. Sorry, I missed you. Want me to take another shot?' :P

'Uh, NO'

'Okay. Just checking.' :P

Then he looked down at his shoulder. And I did too. I was clutching it. His arms to be exact. The man had some muscles! Hoo, momma! He seemed to notice this too, and flexed.

I kid you not, he Flexed.

And, well, it felt good. :P

It felt even better when he pulled me into his arms, for up until then I hadn't realized that I'd been crying. For what fathomable reason, I don't know, but I had been, and he seemed to be good at comforting me.

Luckily it didn't last, for the Lord of the Flies alone knows what would have happened if it did.

The interruption came in the form of two Runners.

As they came up to us, I panicked.

Well, duh, who wouldn't have?

I'd just committed three murders, and was sorely tempted to commit a fourth, and would have gone on with it, if not for these-

"Hello, Gentlemen! How may we assist you?"

"Sir, I'm Milton Sataap, and this here is my friend and fellow Runner Nate Dementa. We were passing by and heard a couple of gunshots down here. So we decided to come investigate. Did you also happen to hear anything of the sort?"

"Well, my friends, as a matter of fact I did. This woman here, Ms.Zxy Hemendip to the world, just shot my-"

"Oh hahaha, Sirs! Look at my Lord, playing games with you Runners again! Really, Dear, you shouldn't trouble people like this. If your work here is done, we'd like very much to retire to our home, am I right, Humming?"

I gave him my dagger-eyed-agree-with-me-or-else-look.

But of course, the man just COULDN'T take a hint, could he? Smart-ass Blondie Pants. -.-

"She's lying, sirs! She's a lying-"

"Enough now! we must get home before the kids realise we're gone!"

"What the Beelzebub are you talking about, you mad woman?"

"Here, here. What's going on now? Is there something about those gunshots we should know?"

"No-"

"YES! it was her!"

An accusing finger pointing straight at me. Gawd, this guy was trouble. He'd have to die. Pronto. :/

But before him, I had to deal with dear old Milton and Nate.

"Sirs, why don't you join us inside the house?"

The look on Humming's face when I said this was PRICELESS. He probably thought I was turning myself in, but what did he know?

I gestured for him to lead the men inside, and as they all moved towards the house, I picked up the scythe I'd seen lying on the garden floor.

This was about to get fun. ;)

*******

When I got in, they were discussing authors.

No really.

Nate Dementa was saying, "Now, I don't read much, haven't read a book in years, actually, but I really think that some of the new authors aren't creating the splash the older ones did.."

"How can you say that, Nate?"

"Lies! Libel! Scandal! Blasphemy! Outrage! I refuse to endorse that, Sir! You have the authority, but I have the-"

"Hello boys! Missing me?"

"You witch! Sirs, she's here. She's the one who murdered my Patricia!'

'Say what?', asked Sataap. 'How could this pretty little Madame have killed three people? She hardly seems capable enough..'

That did it. How dare he call me 'not capable enough'? I would show him exactly how capable I really was. Of killing him. 

'uh, Mr. Dementa, sir, could I please have a moment with you in private?' I added a wink for good measure. ;)

It worked. The man looked flattered as hell. The way he looked, like a tall, plump, overgrown monkey, this was probably the first time a woman had ever winked at him...in fact, probably the first time a woman had looked at him without any sort of disdain in her eyes. Well, Gawd knows he deserved the disdain. The man 'sucked', as teenagers today are wont to say. He had no respect for women, and it was clearly evident in the next words he spoke.

'Uh, I'm flattered, Ma'am, but really, I prefer my women slimmer, and frankly, I couldn't take advantage of you without paying you for your services.'

As proven earlier, no one talks to Zxy like that and gets away with it. This man had to die. The scythe I'd brought along for Humming, which I'd decided to use to kill Sataap, was gonna be used to kill Dementa first.

Bitch only, he was.

'Uh huh.'

And then I did the only thing worth doing at that point really. 

I stabbed him with the scythe. 

*sigh*

The wave of pleasure that hit my body when I did that was comparable to the pleasures my various lovers had bestowed upon me.. ;) 

Of course, they were highly skilled at their art, but then again, as I found out a few seconds later, Dementa was skilled in his art too! The art of dying a pitiful death, that is.

His screams rent the night awake. He started crying, like a little baby. I almost felt sorry for him for a second, but then I remembered that I'm zxy. The day *i'd* feel sorry for someone would be the day I would kill myself. Like I said, zxy never regrets anything (or anyone ;)) she does. 

I cackled. :D

The other two douches stared at me dumbstruck, their mouths open in perfect 'O's. It was like someone had slapped them across the face.

Then another extraordinary (yet so unfortunate) thing happened. Milton Sataap lunged at me. He probably had a fevered brain, lunging at me, swearing like i'd done something wrong, and it was amusing at first, really. I pushed him hard, and just like that, he toppled to the ground. Flesh and flab and bone, et all.

And then it was just Humming looking at me like I was crazy. 

Because suddenly Dementa's wasn't the only blood staining the floor. Thick, beautiful, red, metallic liquid was oozing out of Sataap's head. The smell made my stomach rumble for some reason. Huh, I musta been a cannibal in another life. Eh. It was certainly acting up, now, wasn't it? :P

As I watched the blood run on the floor, a great joy engulfed me, and of all the things I could probably do at that instant, I did the one that was the least expected. I started singing. Humming, actually (whatte pun. :P), but I just felt so...powerful that I couldn't help myself...

And probably JUST to prove to me that he could be weirder than Id imagined him to be, Humming said,' you have a beautiful voice'. Not 'you bitch! You killed them both!' or 'You bitch! You're a coldhearted murderer' or even just 'You bitch!'. Nope, the man HAD to say something completely outta whack.

Not without reason, that stopped me in my tracks. 

'Excusez?'

'you have a beautiful voice. Why did you stop...humming?'

'Because you said I have a beautiful voice. What else did you expect me to do, turn into a nightingale for your benefit?'

'Er, no, no...just keep singing.'

I was shocked, for once.

Three minutes ago, this man was looking at me like I was crazy, angry at me for having murdered his Lady Love, and suddenly he was FLIRTING with me? Who the Beelzebub does that? To think I thought I was the only crazed one around here...tut, tut.. :/

'are you alright? Why are you saying such stuff? It's like you want me to kill you.'

'Oh, Pch! You can never kill me. I'm The Great Humming Jambiya. See how I escaped from the shooting bullets the last time? I carry a Jambiya on me, just in case, too.'

Really. You'd think that by now, people would have understood at least a LITTLE of my psyche to not stay stuff like this to me and still get away with it. I mean, really now. Name ONE person who Ive let go alive when they say things like this to me. One. Come on, I dare ya! :P    

Anyway, I implored Humming to show me his jambiya. Was it just me, or did the previous sentence sound so very wrong? :P

Of course, he obliged. Who wouldn't? It was Zxy, after all. ;)

With a swift, almost graceful movement, he pulled out a beautiful piece of metalwork from his shoe. It was well sigh-worthy. Shining silver, inscribed with the word Jay (probably gifted to him by Jay. ;)) in rubies, it was an ornate piece work indeed. 

I decided then that I must have it.

So, to start nicely, I was polite.

'That is beautiful. It must be priceless!'

'it is, it really is.'

'Uh huh. So can I have it?'

'What? No! Its mine! And it holds a lot of sentimental value!'

'Yeah, I can see that. Doesn't mean I can't have it.'

'of course you can't! You don't always get what you want, Zxy.'

'Ah, but that's exactly where you're wrong, Humming. zxy ALWAYS gets what she wants. No exceptions...' ;)

'..yet.'

Wow. This guy sucked. Big time. Why was I still talking to him?

Time for some action. 

Acting like the lithe little Minx I was, I grabbed the jambiya from Jambiya in one movement, and slid behind him, holding the Big, Beautiful Knife to his throat. 

He laughed uneasily.

'Hehe...now what sort of a joke is this, Zxy? I know you're short tempered, but this knife isn't a toy. Give it back this instant.'

I cackled again. 

'Give me the magic word.' ;)

'Er...you're pretty?'

'Haha..you little innocent gentleman. I know that already. Tell me something new.'

'I'm not really comfortable with the situation you've put me in, Zxy. Please stop this game. You've killed five people tonight already. Believe me, you don't want to kill any more. And if you think that you CAN actually kill me, you're wrong. I'm stronger than I look. The almost healed scratches you inflicted upon me stand as proof.' 

'Dayum. A swift talker we have here...let's make you squirm a little, shall we? See if that shuts you up?'

And then, to my utter and unending delight, I poked him. With the dagger, but still. And damn, he squirmed. It was the funniest thing ever! :P

I'd have continued, but the blood all over the floor was starting to reach my gown by now, and staining it. Really, next time, I'd make sure not to create such a mess. 

'Stop it Zxy! Please! Don't kill me! I swear I'll behave!'

'Aw honey, aw sweety! Haven't you heard? Everyone dies. What gave you the idea that zxy would allow any mortal being she comes in contact with live anymore than she intends them to? You poor baby. I wish I coulda let you live. Those shoulders on a man are hard to find these days...plus the scar's looking good on you...' ;)

And then, before I could give him the chance to try to sweet talk me into something i'd never do, I slashed his throat. And dug the dagger deep into his shoulder for good measure. 

'How could you? You...'

With those famous last words, Humming Geeves Jambiya fell to the floor. (Finally, Gawd, I know right? :P)

The sound his dead body made when it hit the ground has matched no other in the shiver it sent up my spine. For good measure, I gave him a kick in the back with my purple velvet heeled shoes. After all this horrendous man had done to me, I think I deserved this pleasure at least, if nothing else. He deserved to be with Patricia, really. They both complimented each other in a weird twisted way, almost like brother and sister, yet evidently in lust with each other, neither willing to admit it out loud. Patricia had had her reasons and reservations of course, what with Murdoch lurking, but Jambiya had made it perfectly clear to everyone that Patricia was his only queen, Shontelle be damned. ;) It was one of those things everyone knew, but conveniently pretended they didn't. What a shame. The two would have made a perfect pair.

Oh, well. If not alive, they could certainly do it in death. And both at my hands too.. *so proud!!* :D

Taking one last look at the night's handiwork, I ran away. 

I left the house, ran all the way to Humming's House on the Hill, gathered my belongings, took an oil painting of Humming as a keepsake (It turned out to be fabulous fuel later :D), and ran the hell out of town.  

Once again, I didn't know where I would go, how I would get there, or what I would do when I DID get there, but I did know that I was finally done with my past and I could now look forward into the bright red future that awaited me. 

Paris' elite English society was about to be taken by storm by Yours Truly. And this time, there was gonna be some Pyromania to go with the blood. 

*sigh* ;)

*******