Wow...labour was really hard...and especially when I saw the size of the thing that came out of me...Dear God, I wish that on no one!!

Needless to say, Consuela became the heart of my family. Everything revolved around her. My parents, James' parents, Maria, and even Dr.Michael (with whom I had a little old fling...but more on that later...) agreed that though overweight, she was the most beautiful, cherubic baby they had ever seen!! I was, of course, DELIGHTED!! I knew Neil's (and mine) child could never be ugly...but such perfection!!...she really was blessed, Consuela!! Pity she died so young!!

But I don't think I can talk about her death right now....I have to unload the smaller things first... like James' and my mother, Suzanne's death. Should I start with James or Suzanne?

Oh well, let's start with my mother first...she WAS the one who died first!!

My life was bliss with James before she had to come and screw it all up!!

James...AH...James...he was a prince!!...He was the most perfect man I had formed an alliance with (excluding Neil Patrick, of course!!). He was my best friend, lover, confidante and the step-father of my child....He had given me everything when I had nothing and I owed it to him to be a good wife and not kill him..but like I've said so many times before, life isn't always fair...

It was the night of 16 July 1809. I remember the date distinctly because the next day I found out that I was pregnant with James' son...but let's get to that later.

So, 16 July...it was evening time and the three of us were just about to retire to bed. Little Consuela was already asleep in James' arms, and he was about to tuck her in bed, when there was a loud "RAP RAP RAP" outside. Both of us were startled...here it was, 8 in the night, and someone had come knocking at out doorstep (of course these days if someone comes to meet someone, it's rude to go BEFORE 8, but those were those days...I mean, when did you think that "night" *wink* chocolate "After Eight" was invented??

Anyway, it was after eight and there was a knock on the door...of course, we weren't expecting anyone so it was kind of startling. I told James to go and check who was at the door at this hour, when we should've been ...ahem...canoodling...

So, James went to check out who cam calling at this hour. Turns out, it was Micheal.

Yes the same Micheal who gave birth to Consuela. He came in and sat down, shivering from the rain and cold outside.

"I regret to inform you but your mother , the delightful Mrs. Suzanne Thomas has taken ill.

"What? what happened to Mother? She was completely fine when I paid her a visit with Consuela the other day!", I said.

"Well, she was fine until about 6 this evening. Then, suddenly she started having stomach pains and spasms. Your father rushed her to the Rosita Gerald Hospital, where she was immediately attended to by our two specialists, Dr. Alexander Pinto and Dr. Scott Valenzio. They were able to stabilise her condition for a little while, but then then she went from bad to worse not half an hour ago. They haven't been able to find out what was wrong with her but she is continuously getting worse. Your father has sent for you to be with him and the rest of the family in this troubled time just in case something happens. It would bode well if we hurried right away!!"

James immediately shot up with,"what are we waiting for? Let's go!!"

So we went. I wish now that we hadn't.

For if we hadn't, Suzanne and Alexander wouldn't have died at my hands.

Ah...those two died happily...in each others arms....

To know why, I'll have to take you back to 1777, the year I was born. It was July, just before I had been born. My mother, that bitch, Suzanne, was in the hospital, waiting for my awesome arrival. She was well..."bored" and really wanted something to..."do"...

She looked around for my father but he had gone out on an urgent errand. She tried to wait until he came back to inform him of her little "problem" but by then she was getting too restless.

Who else would walk into her room then, but our young, dashing physician Alexander Pinto, coming to check on her? Needless to say, one thing led to another and well..events transpired...

Apparently, since then he and my mother would meet up and "do" things...

Now, I didn't know about their little affair till the day I killed them, so you can imagine my surprise when I ran to my mother's room and found the now elderly Dr. Alexander with her, her almost screaming out "Alllliiiiiiiiiiii" due to his expert treatment....

To say I went into a rage would be an understatement. I took the nearest, sharpest thing I could find, which sadly, turned out to be a stray knife left by one of those stupid, muddle-headed nurses. I took the knife and plunged it as hard as i could into the twisted mass of bodies that made up my mother and the doctor.

The next thing I remember, is BLOOD.

So, I was twenty seven, single and pregnant.

My God, pregnant.

Completely pregnant.

Hurrah!

I knew that society would not accept a bastard...but, oh, what the hell! I knew that my child would turn out to be really cute...you kow, because he was Neil's child...so, I didn't really mind adding on to the population of the world . My parents were so freaked out! I may not have mentioned it but I think it's pretty obvious that I have an obsession with freaking people out. I don't know what it is...I suppose it's just the way people look at me, like, "Okayyyy......she is weird."

I liked freaking those people out especially because they were so clever...realising the fact that I am weird only after I freaked them out...

So, those nine months were...awes-ful...those mornings of projectile vomiting...those evenings of thinking about the child's father, hoping for that sinful feeling of lust at his mere thought to move away from me as it dragged fire through my body...those nights of waiting....and those moments of bliss when I would realise that I had, in effect, a human baby inside me, as I nourished it with the little love I could. That's right; I have feelings, too!

So, I lived my life as best I could, what with all the society drama I had to go through. I couldn't attend Lord James' Annual Ball and I hated that. You know how people have favourite outings, concerts and stuff like that, my favourite night of the year used to be Lord James' ball. He was this thirty year old, really cute Lord of Montfort and he would have this string quartet organised for any couple engaged to be married. That year, Neil and I had decided that we would announce our engagement, freak our respective parents out and then dance to the music of the string quartet and win at the couple game. The couple game was this thing...it was not official but we knew that all the couples had it going. You know, the which-couple-is-hotter thing. We all go through it. Of course, I went through it for more than my share and needless to say, I absolutely loved it! So, anyway, Lord James would have this string quartet organised and Neil and I would day dream about being part of the dancing team. This year, of course, he chose to die. So, we couldn't dance. And because of the whole being-pregnant thing, I couldn't go to the ball either because of the whole bastard thing I mentioned before. Because they didn't want to face the people and tell them that I was pregnant, what with my suddenly, slightly jutting out belly and unnatural glow, my parents decided not to take me. They left me alone and all I got to do was pregnant stuff while they went and danced all night. It was elegant dancing, too! I was so sad, I resolved not to write to Lord James about how sorry I was for not being able to attend his ball. Then they would have to answer him and they wouldn't be able to lie because...well, why would they? They are horrible at it.

So, I did just that. I didn't write to him.

Little did I know that the opposite would happen.

He didn't ask them why I couldn't come. He came home directly to ask me why I didn't.

'Miss Hemendip', he bowed. 'How do you do?''
How do you do, Lord James? Why, I had hardly expected you at this hour. The ball-
'The ball is incomplete without you, Ms. Hemendip.
''I beg your pardon?''
I do not see why you would choose not to grace our humble abode with your presence.
''Lord James...I cannot explain why. It is beyond my reach...I am under great stress, Lord James.
''What could possibly bother you, Zxy?'

At first, I was shocked to hear him call me "Zxy". Then the reason of my shock changed when he took me by my hand instead. Now, even as a Lord, you are not authorised to take the daughter of a Count by the hand. You would freak the daughter out even if she was aroused in a bitterly sweet way.

'I...cannot lie to you, Lord James.'
'Then, don't.'
'It's difficult.'
'I will make it all easy for you', he brushed my lower lip and before I knew it, he pressed his lips against mine.
'You seem so taken aback, Zxy', he whispered huskily. 'You cannot tell me that you hadn't expected this from me. I am sure you recollect how I would wait for just a glimpse of you back in our childhood days. That never stopped.'

Now, I was taken aback. He was strange. I had no clue about the one-glimpse thing.

'I don't know what to say, James. You...you leave me speechless.'
'Don't say anything. And I am aware of the situation you are in.'
'Are you, now?'
He nodded and carressed my belly lightly, fidgeting with the knot that held my dress in place.

What followed is...rated R. If I write about it, I am sure to make eyebrows raise even higher. Just remember that by the end of his meeting, I was scared that I may get pregnant again.

So, that was what happened that night. But we soon developed really strong feelings for each other and he looked really hot; so, marriage was inevitable. My child was no longer a bastard and it was on 17 July, 1805, that my beautiful little baby girl, Consuela was born. Yes, but it wasn't as easy as writing about it. No man can go through it and still survive. They could die. And they would die.

It was at seven in the night, right after dinner, that I had this really weird feeling. A weird sound followed and a weird pool of water was formed on the floor. I was freaked out. What would you do if you get up from the table and this pool just flows out of nowhere?

So, I looked up at James and he went in his sing song voice-'Are you quite alright, Zxy?'

'I don't know, James-ugh!' It was the weirdest sound I had ever made.

'Maria!' he called out to the attendant. 'Summon Dr. Michael, quick!'I was taken to our bedroom and we waited for that flimsy doctor to come. Within five hours of constant screaming, contractions and annoying pushing, my beautiful little baby girl, Consuela Wilkinson was . She was heavy, though; 7 pounds. Over time, she lost weight. But that was far ahead in the future.

In the second half of the first quarter of my life.