I was tired.
Not of the murders, no.
But the constant travelling sure was a pain in the arse.
I was a mess, too. Had I known I'd be performing so many acts of murderous intentions (I should've guessed, really), I'd have kept some more fancy clothing with me. The gown I was in was literally bloody. Not that I minded the blood, no. I like blood, wear it as a scar upon a soldier's chest. Gives me as much pride as that. :P
No, what I didn't like was the fact that I was in a train to Paris, and the fashion capital would really judge me for not being well dressed!
Eh, well...a damsel in distress can get her way for a lot of things, can't she? ;)

Since it was one of the off-peak trains to Paris, my booth was all mine and I was glad. Being stuck in a booth with another human being might not be the best thing for my present disposition. And I was in no mood to commit another murder after the huffy affair that was Humming Jambiya. Ugh, even now as I think about him, I am filled with the strange urge to kill him again. Because let's face it: there's nothing worse than dying twice.

I closed my eyes and started to think of the wonders of a hot bath. Ah, scented candles...flowers...the feel of the warm water touching my very soul. *shivers with glee*

It was then that the door of the booth opened and entered a disturbance in the form of a woman. A very obscenely dressed woman too. I hadn't realised that the train had stopped for a bit, but judging her by her clothes, I was pretty sure that this station was Slut-stershire.

Now, I may be all feisty and the kamasutra may describe my sexual appetite as that of a she-elephant's, but I would NEVER dress in that vulgar a fashion with my breasts highlighted in the so-obvious and not classy way, and my bum protruding out in a distressing manner. I hated her as soon as I saw her and decided that not talking to her would be the key to a rage-free journey.

But she wanted it another way, bitch that she was.

"Hello, I am Swinea Birdlust", she said, her heavy French accent reminding me of why the British hate the French.
I opened my eyes slowly, trying to give her the idea that I was fatigued enough to not want to wake up till we reached Paris.
"My name is Zxy Hemendip", I said, sounding quite drugged.
"What a lovely name!" she squealed.
I know Zxy Hemendip is a lovely name. Why is she just repeating things I know?
"Thank you, Ms. Birdlust", I tried to smile; I was trying to tell her very nicely that I was FREAKING TIRED, SO LET ME SLEEP!!

"Are you travelling to Paris for business or for pleasure?" she continued.
So, I really wasn't going to get some sleep, was I?
"For pleasure, Ms. Birdlust. I have a few cousins residing at Rue Cambon", I added. There really was my cousin brother Nash Martin at Rue Cambon.
"Lovely", she squealed again. "I am travelling for...pleasurable business."
Of course she was.
"Are you?"
"Yes...I assume you can guess what my pleasurable business is?"
I wanted to say that she looked like a harlot, so maybe that was her business too.
Apparently, I did say it.
But I was so tired, I just don't remember what rubbish I must have said.
"Oh, that is correct!" she squealed again. I didn't get it. Did she enjoy that?
Oh, right, she did call it her pleasurable business.
Dayum. What a freak.

After that rather awkward conversation, she didn't speak to me; I suppose she did manage to get the hint. A few hours later, the food cart arrived and famished as I was, I bought a croque-monsieur and settled in to read my diary. No books, no periodicals; none can match the endearing accounts of Zxy Hemendip, the Duchess of Cambridge and Countess of York. ;)

"I suppose whilst you are here you will attend the grand ball of Paris?" Swinea continued, unwrapping the food item she had bought. (It is rude to spy on others' food :P)
"Oh, yes I will", I said, adding that to my diary. "ATTEND GRAND BALL. KILL SWINEA IF SHE DOESN'T STOP TALKING"
Of course, I wasn't serious about the killing. Yet.
You just never know with me, do you? :P

"They say General Gunther is to make an appearance" she added with a wink.
Now, I had no idea who this General Gunther was, but the way she put it, I just knew that I had to get to know who this General was.
So I added another note in my diary: "GENERAL GUNTHER"

"I'm sorry, but pray, who is General Gunther?" I asked politely.
"Oh, but of course, you're English! You obviously don't visit Paris much!"
Witch.
I do too visit Paris. I had so many summer trips in Paris as a child. Just hadn't been there in recent years. What a witch! -.-

I faked a laugh and waited for her to continue.

"He is only the most remarkable member of the French regiment! I had the privilege of knowing him quite intimately last summer", she added with what seemed like a wink.
Right.
So General Gunther was a bit of a man-whore.

"How nice that must have been", I said, shifting a little in my seat.
"Oui...quite nice", she wouldn't stop beaming.
Dayum. What a freak.
Shut up, already!

I wished the train would gather speed and we'd reach Paris sooner. But thankfully, before I could lose my temper, I heard Swinea lightly snoring. What a relief that was. I stood up noiselessly and with whatever little luggage I had, got the hell out of the booth. Upon opening the door of the next booth, I found a lightly snoring man (again), his hat covering his face.
The perfect companion. Neither would he talk, nor would he want me to talk. I could peacefully delve into the adventures of Zxy Hemendip and not have anything disturb me :D

So, I did settle in and dozed off. I finally woke up when the breakfast cart showed up.
"Excuse me?" I heard a sound.
Oh, what a beautiful sound that was. Reminded me of someone I had known...but who was it?
"Madame?" said the voice.
Oh, yes, I definitely knew the voice.
"Mm?" I said, breathing lightly, clutching what I perceived to be a hat.
This couldn't be right.
I opened my eyes slowly to discover my booth companion wide awake, the sun beaming and the cart-lady smiling uncomfortably. I sat up straight and looked at the lady.
"Anything off the cart, my dear?" she asked.
"Just some tea, please", I said, clearing my throat. Then I realised that I still had the man's hat in my hand (How on earth did it get there?)
I let go of it quickly as he chuckled.
"Thank you", I said to the cart-lady and watched her depart while I straightened my gown, hiding the cleavage that I had made visible during the night.
I sniffed a little, the cool morning air getting to my head.
The man opposite me seemed quite engrossed in the paper.
That was a good thing.
I took a few moments to analyse him. He seemed rather affable. His dark brown hair stood out, compared to his extremely white skin, adorned slightly red by the cool morning air. His eyes were quite an established contrast at that: the lightest shade of brown. He was well-built, too, his shoulders quite broad. His clothes suggested affluence, as did the gold pocket watch dangling from his vest.
As I emptied the contents of the tea-pot into my cup however, I could feel his gaze on me. So I looked up and he smiled.
"You aren't from Paris", he said.
"No", I shook my head. "I am the Duchess of Cambridge and the Countess of York", I wanted to add, but resisted. I know that boasting away royal titles is cool (believe me!) but ever since I escaped home, I had to exercise more caution.
"I am from York", I added.
"Ah...I knew you were English", he said, taking a bite out of his toast.
"Did you? What gave me away?"
"Well...the English beauty has its own charm. You couldn't possibly be French with that sort of charm", he added.
Ah, so my booth companion was a smooth talker.
I chuckled.
"Well, thank you. But you aren't from Paris, either, are you?" I asked him. His accent was definitely more Midland than anyone's.
"Not originally, no. Business beckons me to Paris every so often. I won't say much about that."
"As you wish", I said with a shrug.
"So, what is it that calls YOU to Paris then, my lady?"
I liked how he didn't insist on knowing my name. There is a charm in being hit on by strangers who don't mention their names, and have no interest in finding out yours :P Back in the day, it was people like my booth companion who did that. Now, it's people you find lined up outside clubs who do that :P
And more often than not, it's a relief not knowing their names. I once had an encounter outside a club in my second life. The man was handsome, all suited up. He said he'd buy me a drink and everything (and I said no, thank you, because I didn't trust him, douche that he could be). But then he mentioned his name-and I have never been this put off in my entire life. "My name is Honey", he said. 'That's a...sweet name', I said sheepishly.
Gawd. What kind of a name is Honey? Granted, he was a Punjabi man (must kill them too, they've practically transformed England into Punjabi-land), but even the worst Punjabi names were better than his. And it was his real name, not even a pet-name sort of thing.
Anyway, I was glad that we could just talk and have nothing to do with unimportant things like "what's your name?" "where do you intend to stay?" "do notify me when you reach Mr. Martin".

We finally did reach Paris and when the train came to a final halt, he smiled, shook my hand and said, "Lovely to meet you, Madame".
"Pleasure to meet you, too", I said with a smile.
I left the booth and got out of the train, turned to wave him goodbye, but he was gone.
Damn, I wanted to know his name!
Eh, well. It was France. I'd probably meet plenty of other handsome and flirtatious gentlemen.

******

"Cousin Zxy!" Nash squealed when the maid announced my entrance.
"Cousin Nash!" I squealed back while he hugged me.
Nash Martin lived in Paris for unfathomable reasons (or I couldn't be bothered to find out why). So, it was rather convenient to find a place to stay.
"Oh, it's been so very long since I saw you! How ARE you? Oh, and...I was very sorry upon hearing about the demise of your dear mother", he added solemnly.
Oh, right...Suzanne Thomas. I hadn't thought about her in a long time. :P
I sighed, pretending to actually care about her.
"oh, have I made fresh healing wounds? I do feel so sorry!"
"Oh, no, Nash! No, we must all move on...after all, the dead have moved on. Maybe it's time we did too", I added.
"oh, I always admired your courage, Zxy", he said and wrapped me in another hug.
"I hope I am not a disturbance to you, Nash? I do feel bad about dropping in without as much a letter, but I was so distressed! So much has happened..."
"I understand, Zxy. You can stay here for as long as you wish. Come", he added, wrapping me in a massive hug again. I smiled.
"Now, we must get your business sorted. You don't have any plans whilst you are here, do you?"
"My dear Nash, I had hardly planned to come to Paris! You couldn't possibly expect me to have plans for my stay", I said.
"It's settled, then. You will attend the Autumn ball. No, I won't take no for an answer", he added before I could protest.
As if I was going to protest. :P
I lived for such things!
Balls, dressing up all fancy, being hit on by random strangers: this was life to me!
So I knew for sure that this was going to be fun :D

"Oh, and one of my dear friends is in town, too, so he will attend the ball. Everyone wants to meet him. You'll get to meet him too! He is an absolute delight, Zxy; you'd love him. General Gunther from the regiment', he added.
Oh yay.
Another General Gunther fan.
Seriously, who is this guy?

A few minutes into the animated description of General Gunther's character (his happy nature, his hilarious moods, etcetera) made Nash realise that he had to get to work. He arranged for my luggage to be transferred to one of the massive guest rooms and a hot bath.
Yes, I thought. This is going to be fun :D

******

The day of the Autumn ball finally arrived and courtesy to Nash's lady friends, I had a lovely white muslin gown made for myself. Several of Nash's male friends sent over carnations for me (well, why wouldn't they? I am perfectly charming ;) ) and they contributed towards the making of my hair accessories. Now, don't judge me. I did exploit their labour for fashion, but I also danced with each one of them and gave them credit where it was due.

I was so glad that there was a society event to be part of. It seemed like ages since I had last gone out. This was a night of grace. There was no muck involved, no filthy men, no judgmental glares, none of that rubbish. This was an elegant night.

It was when the last bit of the string segment ended that my dance partner for it, Algernon Everett, left to get us some drinks. And it was then that I caught sight of one of the most unexpected sights. It was certainly someone unexpected, but not someone I had hoped to see.
"Ms. Hemendip!" squealed Swinea Birdlust.
How nice. I stay in Paris for a week and instead of a charming gentleman, God sends over Swinea Birdlust.
How amusing, God.

"Ms. Birdlust!" I said, not quite matching her level of adrenaline.
I quickly noticed what she was wearing: well, who wouldn't? The woman was draped in a partially see-through black gown. Talk about modesty in public! :/ But I suppose that was the difference in the French society. :P
After a few minutes of chit-chat, I was glad to say goodbye to her. I did see her again later that evening with Nash. :P

It was when we were in the middle of the German music segment that the hall suddenly went silent and the quartet stopped. Everyone bowed down and by way of quiet murmurs, I understood that the regiment officers had arrived. Swinea Birdlust rearranged her dress so that more of her cleavage was visible. Gawd. THAT was too much for even the French society.

And then he entered. Who? General Gunther, of course. I was...befuddled.
He walked with the poise of an army man towards his seniors and who I understood to be the most elite of the elite class. Nash approached him too, along with Swinea. With Nash, he was quite friendly. But with Swinea, I could swear I sensed a cold look.
Oh, well. So maybe the intimacy of the summer hadn't lasted.

A while later, just as the musicians began restoring their original notes, Nash approached me with the General on one side and Swinea on the other. I was...befuddled.
Why, you ask me?
Because...of all the people I could have expected to be General Gunther, I'd have hardly expected my booth companion from Lancaster to Paris to be him.
Such was the situation.

"General Gunther, I'd like to present to you, Cousin Zxy Hemendip, Duchess of Cambridge and Countess of York. Zxy, meet Gerald Gunther", he added.
"How do you do?"
"How do you do?"
"Ah, there's Mrs. Douglas", said Nash, looking into the distance at one of his prospective business associates. "Swinea, darling, join me. I hope you two enjoy", he added, looking at me and Gerald. General Gunther.
"So we meet again", said Gerald with the familiar mischievous grin.
"Indeed we do", I said, flashing away a smile too.
"It's interesting how we both managed to hide the fact that we are...important people, don't you think?"
"Quite interesting, General. But I had heard so much about "General Gunther" that it would have been a shame not to have met you."
"I am flattered", he said, raising his glass.
Just then, the string quartet started another piece and I knew what was about to happen. Men are quite predictable :P
"Would you like to dance, Ms. Hemendip?"
"Indeed", I said, and took his arm.

It was an interesting experience, too.
"i had no idea you were related to Nash Martin", he said.
"Yes, well, he is quite a distant relation. He is the son of one of the cousin sisters of my late father."
"Do you like it in Paris?"
"Yes, very much, it's a refreshing change."
"Have you ever been to Paris before?"
"Are you always this inquisitive?" I asked with a small smile.
He chuckled. "I am a curious man. Have you been to Paris before?"
"I did have countless vacations in Paris, as a child. But I haven't been here in my recent past."
"Would you like to see the city then?"
"Well, Nash hardly ever has the time for...frivolity. Besides, I have been here for just a week, so I haven't made many close friends. I would quite detest the idea of roaming around the streets of Paris all by myself."
"I beg your pardon, Ms. Hemendip, but....i was offering myself for company", he said with a smile.
I knew that, of course.
I just liked seeing the reaction of men when I pretended like I didn't know what they meant. :P
"Oh, but I wouldn't want to be a burden...wouldn't you rather spend the time with Swinea Birdlust?"
Now why the Beelzebub would I say that? :/
"With Ms. Birdlust? I doubt she'd be as perfect as you are", he said, his voice suddenly sending shivers down my spine.
You know how some people have the alcohol effect?
He had that effect!
"Oh?" I said. Whispered, almost.
"Yes", he said, his arm now hovering over my buttocks.
I swallowed.
He was quite the smooth talker. :P

I enjoyed myself thoroughly over the remainder of the night. I was so glad to be part of the social circle again, not a social pariah anymore.
I did miss all of that what with the murders I had had to commit and the escaping from one place to another. :(

******

So, the next day, Gerald arrived promptly at lunch time and took me to one of the more elegant French restaurants.
We saw the important locations of the city from the view of a tourist and as evening approached, we settled for tea at a little pastry shop, talking about everything: from German music to the language, from the Suez Canal to the Persian market.
Later, we went to one of the concert halls to appreciate fine opera and I felt so alive after an evening out. Having intelligent conversation: I missed that!
He didn't care about my past and I didn't mention Swinea again, so that was okay. At one point, we started talking about botanical gardens.
"My father was intrigued by them. He had one made in our backyard when I was a little boy", he said.
"Oh, did he? Well, I am not quite interested in them, but I do love the greenery. My governess was rather fond of botany. She'd talk for hours on end about the wonderful gardens she visited in her travels in the West Midlands. But I do so wish to see a garden once!"
"Oh, you're welcome to see mine whenever you like. In fact, would you like to see it now?"
"Right now? I'd rather not be an imposition, you've already done so much", I chuckled.
"oh, no imposition at all! Besides, I very rarely get to spend time with people like you", he added with a grin.
I didn't know why, but something seemed wrong. Something about him. Not like Gay Grey, no. Just...something wrong.
But what could possibly go wrong?
We'd just see the garden. Probably fool around for a bit. What could go wrong? Unless...he turned out to be like Gay Grey.
Oh, don't be silly, Zxy, said a voice in my head.

So, I did say yes to his offer and within ten minutes, we were in outside his home. It was designed along the lines of brick red terracotta, and looked rather dignified and grandiose.
Not to mention, pricey.
I liked that :P
"C'est tout, Helder, Merci", hé said to his butler.

"Shall we?" he said, directing me towards the backyard.
Now, I won't lie to you. Botanical gardens are beautiful. But i am not fascinated by the details. :P
I did however appreciate how much his father seemed to care. :P

"Oh, this is beautiful", I said, looking around.
"Yes, it is", Gerald sighed.
"You're staring at me", I said with a small smile. "That's quite rude."
"Mm-hmm", he said and walked towards me. "You're beautiful."
"Am I?"
"Yes. More so than anyone I have known."
At that point, he was so close to me, it seemed pointless not to kiss him when he brought down his mouth onto mine.
And what a kiss that was :O
Head spinning. Knees weakening. Inhibitions lowering.
The equivalent of getting drunk :P

I didn't even mind when he carried me inside and did unspeakable things to me :P

If only things could've stayed that way for longer than they did *sigh*

With Jambiya, Snako, Murdoch and Patricia out of the way, I thought it was all finally over, and Id finally be able to spend the rest of the day in some semblance of sanity.

But alas, fate intervened YET again. This fate is a bitch only, I tell you. :/

As I made a sneaky exit out of the house, i ran smack into what I first thought was a ghost. When I realized that it was in fact NOT a ghost, I was just pissed and scratched the bare chested man in front of me on the shoulder, giving him scratch marks to rival those of a blood hound's. Then I stepped back to admire my handiwork and went all 'Egad'.

'i thought i'd shot you, you bitch!'

'well, you obviously didn't, Zxy, but you shot my beb!'

'Your 'beb'? YOUR 'beb'? 'Beb' is my word, and my word only, Jambiya. You have absolutely no right to use it! If you want to call your precious little sweetheart something, find your own terms of endearment! Be original. First Patricia stole my 'dude-ah', and now you AND her are stealing my 'beb'.'

'Hey! Say what you want to me, but you'd dare not open your piehole against my Patricia. I will not listen to a single word spoken against her! And now that she's dead, at least don't taint her memory'

'Huh. K.'

And then he gave me this look. This look that made him look like he was about to cry. It made me laugh, really. He looked adorable that way, like a little puppy, almost! So I thought I'd be nice, and reached out to where the blood on his shoulder was almost dripping. Big mistake, as it turns out. For him, of course. Zxy never regrets anything she does. :)

'i'm sorry about the blood. I didn't mean it...you just happened to catch me by surprise, and that's never a good thing to do with me. Here, I happen to have a kerchief on me.'

I took out my kerchief, and started dabbing at the blood on his shoulders.

'Zxy.'

'Humming. How did you know my name? :P'

'ugh! Forget it!'

'no, no. Tell me. Why the serious Zxy? Am I hurting you?'

'No, it's okay. I just wanted to ask you...you had a clear shot at me in there. Yet you missed. Quite on purpose, I believe. Why?'

'Oh, that? I was just shooting erratically. Blindly, almost. Sorry, I missed you. Want me to take another shot?' :P

'Uh, NO'

'Okay. Just checking.' :P

Then he looked down at his shoulder. And I did too. I was clutching it. His arms to be exact. The man had some muscles! Hoo, momma! He seemed to notice this too, and flexed.

I kid you not, he Flexed.

And, well, it felt good. :P

It felt even better when he pulled me into his arms, for up until then I hadn't realized that I'd been crying. For what fathomable reason, I don't know, but I had been, and he seemed to be good at comforting me.

Luckily it didn't last, for the Lord of the Flies alone knows what would have happened if it did.

The interruption came in the form of two Runners.

As they came up to us, I panicked.

Well, duh, who wouldn't have?

I'd just committed three murders, and was sorely tempted to commit a fourth, and would have gone on with it, if not for these-

"Hello, Gentlemen! How may we assist you?"

"Sir, I'm Milton Sataap, and this here is my friend and fellow Runner Nate Dementa. We were passing by and heard a couple of gunshots down here. So we decided to come investigate. Did you also happen to hear anything of the sort?"

"Well, my friends, as a matter of fact I did. This woman here, Ms.Zxy Hemendip to the world, just shot my-"

"Oh hahaha, Sirs! Look at my Lord, playing games with you Runners again! Really, Dear, you shouldn't trouble people like this. If your work here is done, we'd like very much to retire to our home, am I right, Humming?"

I gave him my dagger-eyed-agree-with-me-or-else-look.

But of course, the man just COULDN'T take a hint, could he? Smart-ass Blondie Pants. -.-

"She's lying, sirs! She's a lying-"

"Enough now! we must get home before the kids realise we're gone!"

"What the Beelzebub are you talking about, you mad woman?"

"Here, here. What's going on now? Is there something about those gunshots we should know?"

"No-"

"YES! it was her!"

An accusing finger pointing straight at me. Gawd, this guy was trouble. He'd have to die. Pronto. :/

But before him, I had to deal with dear old Milton and Nate.

"Sirs, why don't you join us inside the house?"

The look on Humming's face when I said this was PRICELESS. He probably thought I was turning myself in, but what did he know?

I gestured for him to lead the men inside, and as they all moved towards the house, I picked up the scythe I'd seen lying on the garden floor.

This was about to get fun. ;)

*******

When I got in, they were discussing authors.

No really.

Nate Dementa was saying, "Now, I don't read much, haven't read a book in years, actually, but I really think that some of the new authors aren't creating the splash the older ones did.."

"How can you say that, Nate?"

"Lies! Libel! Scandal! Blasphemy! Outrage! I refuse to endorse that, Sir! You have the authority, but I have the-"

"Hello boys! Missing me?"

"You witch! Sirs, she's here. She's the one who murdered my Patricia!'

'Say what?', asked Sataap. 'How could this pretty little Madame have killed three people? She hardly seems capable enough..'

That did it. How dare he call me 'not capable enough'? I would show him exactly how capable I really was. Of killing him. 

'uh, Mr. Dementa, sir, could I please have a moment with you in private?' I added a wink for good measure. ;)

It worked. The man looked flattered as hell. The way he looked, like a tall, plump, overgrown monkey, this was probably the first time a woman had ever winked at him...in fact, probably the first time a woman had looked at him without any sort of disdain in her eyes. Well, Gawd knows he deserved the disdain. The man 'sucked', as teenagers today are wont to say. He had no respect for women, and it was clearly evident in the next words he spoke.

'Uh, I'm flattered, Ma'am, but really, I prefer my women slimmer, and frankly, I couldn't take advantage of you without paying you for your services.'

As proven earlier, no one talks to Zxy like that and gets away with it. This man had to die. The scythe I'd brought along for Humming, which I'd decided to use to kill Sataap, was gonna be used to kill Dementa first.

Bitch only, he was.

'Uh huh.'

And then I did the only thing worth doing at that point really. 

I stabbed him with the scythe. 

*sigh*

The wave of pleasure that hit my body when I did that was comparable to the pleasures my various lovers had bestowed upon me.. ;) 

Of course, they were highly skilled at their art, but then again, as I found out a few seconds later, Dementa was skilled in his art too! The art of dying a pitiful death, that is.

His screams rent the night awake. He started crying, like a little baby. I almost felt sorry for him for a second, but then I remembered that I'm zxy. The day *i'd* feel sorry for someone would be the day I would kill myself. Like I said, zxy never regrets anything (or anyone ;)) she does. 

I cackled. :D

The other two douches stared at me dumbstruck, their mouths open in perfect 'O's. It was like someone had slapped them across the face.

Then another extraordinary (yet so unfortunate) thing happened. Milton Sataap lunged at me. He probably had a fevered brain, lunging at me, swearing like i'd done something wrong, and it was amusing at first, really. I pushed him hard, and just like that, he toppled to the ground. Flesh and flab and bone, et all.

And then it was just Humming looking at me like I was crazy. 

Because suddenly Dementa's wasn't the only blood staining the floor. Thick, beautiful, red, metallic liquid was oozing out of Sataap's head. The smell made my stomach rumble for some reason. Huh, I musta been a cannibal in another life. Eh. It was certainly acting up, now, wasn't it? :P

As I watched the blood run on the floor, a great joy engulfed me, and of all the things I could probably do at that instant, I did the one that was the least expected. I started singing. Humming, actually (whatte pun. :P), but I just felt so...powerful that I couldn't help myself...

And probably JUST to prove to me that he could be weirder than Id imagined him to be, Humming said,' you have a beautiful voice'. Not 'you bitch! You killed them both!' or 'You bitch! You're a coldhearted murderer' or even just 'You bitch!'. Nope, the man HAD to say something completely outta whack.

Not without reason, that stopped me in my tracks. 

'Excusez?'

'you have a beautiful voice. Why did you stop...humming?'

'Because you said I have a beautiful voice. What else did you expect me to do, turn into a nightingale for your benefit?'

'Er, no, no...just keep singing.'

I was shocked, for once.

Three minutes ago, this man was looking at me like I was crazy, angry at me for having murdered his Lady Love, and suddenly he was FLIRTING with me? Who the Beelzebub does that? To think I thought I was the only crazed one around here...tut, tut.. :/

'are you alright? Why are you saying such stuff? It's like you want me to kill you.'

'Oh, Pch! You can never kill me. I'm The Great Humming Jambiya. See how I escaped from the shooting bullets the last time? I carry a Jambiya on me, just in case, too.'

Really. You'd think that by now, people would have understood at least a LITTLE of my psyche to not stay stuff like this to me and still get away with it. I mean, really now. Name ONE person who Ive let go alive when they say things like this to me. One. Come on, I dare ya! :P    

Anyway, I implored Humming to show me his jambiya. Was it just me, or did the previous sentence sound so very wrong? :P

Of course, he obliged. Who wouldn't? It was Zxy, after all. ;)

With a swift, almost graceful movement, he pulled out a beautiful piece of metalwork from his shoe. It was well sigh-worthy. Shining silver, inscribed with the word Jay (probably gifted to him by Jay. ;)) in rubies, it was an ornate piece work indeed. 

I decided then that I must have it.

So, to start nicely, I was polite.

'That is beautiful. It must be priceless!'

'it is, it really is.'

'Uh huh. So can I have it?'

'What? No! Its mine! And it holds a lot of sentimental value!'

'Yeah, I can see that. Doesn't mean I can't have it.'

'of course you can't! You don't always get what you want, Zxy.'

'Ah, but that's exactly where you're wrong, Humming. zxy ALWAYS gets what she wants. No exceptions...' ;)

'..yet.'

Wow. This guy sucked. Big time. Why was I still talking to him?

Time for some action. 

Acting like the lithe little Minx I was, I grabbed the jambiya from Jambiya in one movement, and slid behind him, holding the Big, Beautiful Knife to his throat. 

He laughed uneasily.

'Hehe...now what sort of a joke is this, Zxy? I know you're short tempered, but this knife isn't a toy. Give it back this instant.'

I cackled again. 

'Give me the magic word.' ;)

'Er...you're pretty?'

'Haha..you little innocent gentleman. I know that already. Tell me something new.'

'I'm not really comfortable with the situation you've put me in, Zxy. Please stop this game. You've killed five people tonight already. Believe me, you don't want to kill any more. And if you think that you CAN actually kill me, you're wrong. I'm stronger than I look. The almost healed scratches you inflicted upon me stand as proof.' 

'Dayum. A swift talker we have here...let's make you squirm a little, shall we? See if that shuts you up?'

And then, to my utter and unending delight, I poked him. With the dagger, but still. And damn, he squirmed. It was the funniest thing ever! :P

I'd have continued, but the blood all over the floor was starting to reach my gown by now, and staining it. Really, next time, I'd make sure not to create such a mess. 

'Stop it Zxy! Please! Don't kill me! I swear I'll behave!'

'Aw honey, aw sweety! Haven't you heard? Everyone dies. What gave you the idea that zxy would allow any mortal being she comes in contact with live anymore than she intends them to? You poor baby. I wish I coulda let you live. Those shoulders on a man are hard to find these days...plus the scar's looking good on you...' ;)

And then, before I could give him the chance to try to sweet talk me into something i'd never do, I slashed his throat. And dug the dagger deep into his shoulder for good measure. 

'How could you? You...'

With those famous last words, Humming Geeves Jambiya fell to the floor. (Finally, Gawd, I know right? :P)

The sound his dead body made when it hit the ground has matched no other in the shiver it sent up my spine. For good measure, I gave him a kick in the back with my purple velvet heeled shoes. After all this horrendous man had done to me, I think I deserved this pleasure at least, if nothing else. He deserved to be with Patricia, really. They both complimented each other in a weird twisted way, almost like brother and sister, yet evidently in lust with each other, neither willing to admit it out loud. Patricia had had her reasons and reservations of course, what with Murdoch lurking, but Jambiya had made it perfectly clear to everyone that Patricia was his only queen, Shontelle be damned. ;) It was one of those things everyone knew, but conveniently pretended they didn't. What a shame. The two would have made a perfect pair.

Oh, well. If not alive, they could certainly do it in death. And both at my hands too.. *so proud!!* :D

Taking one last look at the night's handiwork, I ran away. 

I left the house, ran all the way to Humming's House on the Hill, gathered my belongings, took an oil painting of Humming as a keepsake (It turned out to be fabulous fuel later :D), and ran the hell out of town.  

Once again, I didn't know where I would go, how I would get there, or what I would do when I DID get there, but I did know that I was finally done with my past and I could now look forward into the bright red future that awaited me. 

Paris' elite English society was about to be taken by storm by Yours Truly. And this time, there was gonna be some Pyromania to go with the blood. 

*sigh* ;)

*******

As you are aware, I was royally recognised and so was Grey and so were all my other lovers (well, why else would they be called my lovers? ;) )

There was Neil Patrick, who was the Duke of Chester; then there was Lord James (need I say more?....ah! Lord James!); there was Louise who was a well reputed doctor among us royals, and hence, had an agreeable position in the society, and then there was Grey...the best-I-ever-had Grey...the gay Grey! -.-
He was the Count of Northampton.

So, my point is, all my lovers were reasonably well established in the royal circle and all of them had established equivalent wedlock terms. In other words, they came to marry the cool and awesome royals. Me :D

Well, except for Grey. And I had never heard of his marriage. Not that that would have stopped me from playing with the lusts of the flesh, no. I would still have seduced him because he was clearly working under my spell. They all do, really ;)
But there had to be a reason I had never heard of the wedding of the great Count of Northampton. Our society, and indeed any society, made a huge deal out of weddings. So whenever I got married, people knew. That was how my image of a polyandrist became well known.
Not just me, whenever anyone got married, the whole society knew. But this was one marriage that no one ever spoke about.
There was a reason.
I had to find it out for myself. I just had to. But I didn't know who I could approach. I would have asked Alcoholic Anita, but she was proving as useful as a dung beetle, so she had to die. Useless people annoy the hell out of me. And someone like Anita...well, you get my drift.

There had to be someone...Lancaster was full of creeps like that!
Someone would know. Someone who knew about the history of the families of George and Hemendip.
Then it hit me.
Andre Murdoch. Patricia Pollock.
They would answer my queries.

Andre Murdoch was this little creep I knew from my childhood days. He was in my school. Ours was a private school where we had people from the royal families and people from the rich households who had attained their wealth mainly from investments in the secondary sector (that was the time of the Industrial Revolution). The royal people hated the rich ones. The royalty was totally at the risk of falling because people had suddenly developed feelings for democracy and that sort of shit. I'm not saying democracy is bad. But if it puts people like me out of business, then to hell with better governments! :p :/
So, basically my family hated the guts of the Murdoch family. The Murdoch family was of mixed Spanish and French heritage (so there's an added reason to hate them!) AND they were doing good in the cotton business. And since my family hated their family, I hated Andre. But there was more to why I hated Andre and his little weird girlfriend, Patricia Pollock (don't ask me why they had such strange names).
More on that later!
But I did know that Andre Murdoch and Patricia Pollock got married soon after school, started some sort of business in Swansea, suffered terrible losses due to lack of business (although, I don't know how that could happen, considering their strategic location that incorporated sea routes for excellent export purposes. Just saying :p)
I had to find Andre Murdoch and Patricia Pollock.
I had to find Shontelle Jay.
I had to LEAVE LANCASTER! ASAP! The city freaked me out like crazy!

But there was another problem. I didn't know where to find them.
And as an added charmer, I had nowhere to stay.
Again. -.-

So I walked on....and on....and on....till I was well out of the city and approaching the outskirts.
THAT had to be exciting :/

I finally found a hilltop tavern.
The tavern existed because there was a winery a little further off.
Sterna Winery, it was called.
A bloke from Paphos owned it.
Eh, not that I cared about who owned it.
All I cared about was the fact that I found a tavern. I could find a bed. I could sleep.
Granted that my sleep would be guided by strange dreams, this was more than welcome.
Plus, I could finally get a hot bath. I was a pathetic mess.

So I climbed up the little hill's steps and entered the tavern, only to find no one at the reception.

"Excuse me?" I said, starting to get the feeling that no one would turn up.
But someone did turn up a few seconds later.

"Good Evening, miss", he said with a husky voice. Nay, almost whispered.
One glance at him helped me study his profile.
He was not the tallest figure I had seen, but he wasn't short either. Medium height. He was dressed in a light grey suit, his pocket watch dangling the regular way. Everything was regular, and yet everything was not.
Then I realised.
He was grinning.
Douche.
I didn't know what it was...but there was something in his grin. Like a combination of "innocent" and "pure evil".
For several seconds, he continued to grin, but didn't say a word.

"Good evening", I said. "I am Zxy Hemendip. And I require lodging."
"Aye, aye", he drawled. Several seconds later. And he was so soft-spoken, it was just annoying. I wanted to shout out, "Speak up, doofus!"
Of course, I didn't.
See, 'cause I'm a nice person.
It's true.
I'm polite.
At least in the first meeting.
Because the first impression is the last impression.

"I do have something suitable available", he finally said after the longest pause I had ever seen. Longest ever, following the question as to whether or not he'd give me a room.
He smiled sheepishly. But didn't say a word.
Gawd. Does he ever talk? :/
He handed over a key to me. Said, "I'm afraid...ours is a small establishment. It's just me tonight", he added with a glint in his eyes.
In his red eyes.
Probably sleep deprived, but even so.

"Lead the way, please", I said, not knowing what else to say. What DO you say to a guy who wouldn't say anything?

I followed him upstairs and he led me to the far end of the passage.

"Here it is", he said, smiling again.
The innocent-evil smile.
Gawd.

"Thank you", I said as graciously as I could.

He bowed and was about to leave, when I stopped him: "Excuse me...?" I said, looking at his badge for his name.
Humming Jambiya.
WTF? :O
"Mr. Jambiya", I swallowed. "I was wondering...if you could help me a little."
He smiled.
"Of course, Ms. Hemendip", he said.
"Please come in", I invited him in. Such interrogation cannot take place at the door.
Or so I thought.

"How may I help you?"
"Pray, what does your name mean?" I said with a small smile.
He chuckled.
"I am of mixed ethnicity, Ms. Hemendip", he said. "My father is from Yemen. Mother is from Mexico. They met under peculiar circumstances and brought me to England."
"That IS peculiar, if I do say so myself", I agreed.
He chuckled again. "So, how may I help?"
"I was wondering...if you'd happen to know where Shontelle Jay lives?"
"Do you mean the wife of Grey George?"
"The same, yes."
"Why, yes; I do!"
"Oh, splendid! May I have the address?"
"Yes, of course...but may I ask, if it isn't too personal, what...I mean...do you have some sort of business with her?"
"I do", I nodded. His expression told me that he wanted the details.
Douche.
I didn't say anything. Why would I give away my hatred for Shontelle Jay to a person called Humming Jambiya? :/
"I knew Shontelle Jay....intimately."
"Did you, now?" I was interested. I sat down on the bed and gestured him to do the same.
"Yes...she was my first love. I do not know why I tell you this. I feel that you can be trusted. You have the look of a trustworthy maiden."
Wow.
He was quite the dramatic talker. :P

"Do tell", I pushed him to it. What? I like dirt!

"Yes...she was there for me at a time when no one was. And then she left and married that arrogant doofus. Grey George. I will never forgive him for that", he added.
Oh, no one will, I thought to myself. But he is dead already, so who cares?

"Grey George is...dead", I said slowly.
He looked up, his eyes red. Ugh :/
"He is..?" He was shocked. Yet there was an odd tinge of pleasure. "But...how?"
"He was...murdered", I said, not sure why I let him know that.
"By whom?"
Gawd. Curious much? And I thought that was Curious George's job!

"I have no idea", I said. Normally, when people lie, there's such a thing as a conscience. But Zxy Hemendip is more than that.

Humming Jambiya wrote down an address on the pad lying on the nightstand. I took a look at it and turned to him.

"Are you going to meet her soon?"
"I suppose so, yes", I said.

With a final goodnight, he was gone.

I fell on the bed and slowly sank into a world of dreams.

And don't even talk to me about my dreams.

People have dreams that they can forget. I can't forget mine. They're just so weird.

Once, I had a dream that I am drowning in a green ocean with Lord James, snogging. All that can save us from drowning, is snogging.
That was back when I didn't like Lord James. So I hated these dreams. When I did like him, such dreams were appreciated.

Another time, I had a dream that I have an evil twin who happens to be a bellydancer, and is dancing for Grey George when all I want is for her to kill him.
I function better in reality, don't I?
My dreams just lose the efficiency of murder. :/
And the thing is, I dream about people i speak to/about before going to bed.
So, I could have a dream about Shontelle, Grey or Humming.
And none of that would be cool.

So I slept and I did have a dream.
Not as strange as always, but worth recording.
I am in America.
I know, weird.
I am in America and two Indian restaurants have closed down. So I have nowhere to go to. So I move on a little further, and find Lord James. That really gets me sad. There is no food, I am starving, and I have James with me. FML.
So, anyway...I move on and find a raised platform.
There he is.
Humming Jambiya.
Performing a dance that would come to be known as breakdancing.

I woke up with a start.
Not because Humming Jambiya was dancing. But because of the rap-rap-rap on my door.

I opened the door, looking as cranky as I do in the morning.

"Breakfast, ma'am", said the woman at the door. "Complementary, from Mr. Humming Jambiya."
Ah, crap.
"Thank you", I said as she arranged it on the table and left.
Dayum.
Whyyyy??

I ate anyway :P
I was starving. I hadn't had a proper meal in ages.
And the food he had sent over was delicious, I had to agree.

Avoiding Humming Jambiya, I managed to sneak out of the place and make my way towards what I like to call, The Murder House.
Why, you ask?
Well, isn't it obvious?
That's where Shontelle was murdered.

I hadn't actually thought of killing her right away.
I mean, I knew that I was angry with her.
She tried to get with MY Grey.
Of course, she probably didn't get to, considering his orientation (we had our thing because it's me. I'm awesome everywhere :D)
But even so.

I called out to a passing carriage driver.
"Dashton Street, please", I said to him.
We started off and I wondered what I'd see there. I didn't know what this Shontelle Jay woman looked like. In my head, she was ugly and fat.
No offence, Shontelle.
Actually, yes offence.
You stole my first love from me.
Witch -.-

We reached Dashton Street in another seven minutes or so, and when I got to the apartment Shontelle was supposed to be in, I realised that it was locked.
"Ugh, save me, Beelzebub", I said to myself.

"Zxy?" I heard a voice from behind me.
Oh, crap.
Who is it, now?

I turned.
It was a man. Obviously.
A man I didn't know. Obviously.
He was bespectacled and uncommonly tall.
Like really, really tall.
Standing next to him made me look like a midget.
Then I remembered.
I knew who he was!
Beelzeub had finally answered my prayers of helping me meet one of those two creeps!

"Andre...Murdoch?" I gasped out of shock.
Yeah, Andre was one of my most hated friends since school.
Okay, so not technically my friend if I hated him and he hated me (oh, believe me; he hated me.)
"I'm glad you remember me", he said, vigorously shaking my hand.
I just smiled and didn't say anything.
"What are you doing here in Lancaster?"
"Well...I'm meeting someone."
"Shontelle Jay?"
"How did you know?!"
"You're standing right by her apartment. It was sort of..obvious", he smiled. In the inside, I knew he was mocking me.
Douchebag.

"She isn't here", he continued. "Her husband died. His funeral is being held at Northampton. That's where she is."
"Oh...I am so sorry for her loss", I lied :P
"How have you been. Zxy? It feels like it's been ages!"
"Well, it had been quite some time...but I suppose we all lose touch at some point after school."
"I suppose we do."
"So, how is your wife?"
"Patricia? She is quite alright...we've all been good."
"All?"
"Yes...do you remember Mario Snako?"

I did.
Gawd. Talk about people I happen to know and remember.
Mario Snako was another bloke we went to school with. He was a weird fellow, too. Somehow, his power of communication strengthened through letters and notes, but he couldn't talk to anyone face to face. Actually, he couldn't talk to me much. We hardly had things to talk about.
Eh.

"I do."
"Well, he is our neighbour, and we are quite a group of friends, the three of us."

"How nice it must be", I said, trying to give him the signal that I HAD to leave.
"Would you like to come with me and meet my wife? Patricia would be glad to meet you", he added.
Crap.
I was majorly annoyed with Patricia.
The douche-woman.
Patricia and Andre were totally made for each other.
When they had newly embarked upon their love affair, I had said, not meaning well, "The two of you aren't made for each other. You ARE each other."
They took that as a compliment.

And Andre had the weirdest thing of saying my name again and again.
Not in the wrong way (God, I hope not), but just generally. Whenever he'd see me, he'd go "Zxy".
And Patricia would follow. I knew about several lovers from her past, and somehow, she would turn into them or really start defending them, and that would annoy the crap out of Zxy and Hemendip, both :P.

You'd think this isn't a reason good enough to be annoyed with her, but you'd be wrong.
She had a strange fixation with my boobs.
So much so, she tried to give them names. -.-
Who does that? -.-

So, it wasn't surprising that I wasn't particularly keen on meeting her.
But I said yes anyway. I like being nice to people. Can't just say no, can I?
Besides, how much could one visit hurt?

Apparently, a lot.

But I didn't know that -.-

So I walked along with Andre. Apparently, he lived in Grey's neighbourhood.

And thank Beelzebub I found him when I did, 'cause he told me some very interesting things.

"So, what brings you here?" he started.
"Unfinished business...quite trivial, really. Wouldn't bore you with it."
"Oh...may I ask how you know Mrs. George?"
"I am not particularly well acquainted with her...I merely knew that she was married to Grey before he died."
"Pitiful affair...died so young. They say he was murdered", he added, expecting me to be shocked.
But I changed the topic anyway.
"I never heard of Grey's wedding, you know."
"Yes, well...it was a solemn and quiet affair. Not many knew. Who could, under those circumstances?"
"I don't understand..."
"Well, they eloped. It was a pitiful affair with the parents, too..."
"Oh, dear...what happened?"
"Well...she was not very agreeable in her mannerisms, I was told. And he was rather....distracted.Not likely to be constant to Shontelle. They knew it, but were too egoistic to admit it. By the end, they were already drifting apart. But it was pitiful indeed that Grey had to die young."

Yeah, okay.

"I had no inkling..." I said.

A few apartments later, we reached number 17. Upon entering, Patricia ran out to greet Andre, and was quite taken aback to find me. Nevertheless, she found the will to hug me and kiss me on the cheeks, saying, "Zxy! Oh, how I missed you! Mario is here, too!"

Yay.

We proceeded into the living room...and boy, it was a pitiful affair -.-

Mario wouldn't say anything more than "Hello, Zxy; how've you been? It's quite wonderful to meet you again after so many years"
Patricia wouldn't stop giggling.
Andre wouldn't stop talking.
"Oh, do you remember how we were in school!?" Patricia and Andre asked me.
Uh, yeah I do.
"Zxy, you were the sweetest!" Patricia said.
"Yes, quite sweet", Andre agreed. "At one point, I had the strangest desire to rape you."
I looked up.
Say what?

"Oh, yes", Patricia nodded. "He once came to me and said that he found you so sweet, he wanted to rape you. He was quite in love with you!"

Eh?
What the Beelzebub is wrong with that guy?!
How is Patricia still talking?
More importantly, why am I still here?

Apparently, Mario felt the same.
So when he suggested a walk in the garden, I was more than willing to get out of there.

"You shouldn't mind them", Mario said. "They are sort of strange that way."
"So how have you been? You hardly seem to talk", I added with a small smile.
"Yes, well...so how is your James?"
"My James is long gone, Mr. Snako", I said, a little grave now. For the sake of it.
"Oh. Very sorry, Zxy."

And that was the end of our conversation.

I left soon after that.
But upon returning to the site of the winery, I found Humming waiting.
Gawd.
He was prancing so much, for a minute I thought it was Patricia again.

I went up to my room, after smiling at him and sharing a casual word. I wished I had a good book to read.
It had been so long.

I was just about to get to sleep when someon knocked at the door.
I decided then and there, if it's Humming, he's dead.
And I mean dead-dead.

It wasn't him.
Dayum. :P

It was Patricia Pollock.

What the beelze?

"Patricia? What are you doing here?"
"I'm sorry, Zxy, I just...wanted to apologise for anything wrong that I may have said."
"Oh...that is quite alright, Patricia."
"I do mean it", she continued.

"I don't speak against that", I agreed.

Just then, Humming, who was on his way to the pantry upstairs, caught sight of us.
Now, you'd think he'd just smile and walk away because he can't talk much, but you'd be wrong. He'd stop, come to you, take a look at Patricia, grin and start hitting on her.
"Zxy, you never mentioned your pretty friend", he said.

Oh, now I'm Zxy? -.-
Miss Hemendip to you, Jambiya.

I scowled.

They continued to giggle till it was evident they had hit it off really annoyingly well.

After that, she just left and I was happy for the first time that I had met Humming. He drove Patricia away :D

Wow, they really were meant for each other.

That night, I didn't sleep well.
I dreamed that Shontelle Jay would get me.
Not that she could, no. I am Zxy Hemendip, and she is...just a mortal.

I woke up the next morning, determined to sort things out between me and Shontelle.
By sorting, I mean having a duel. Except that in this one, it was a sure thing that I'd win.
Not because I had my father's gun with me, but because I was so much better.

"How may I help you?" she said as her house maid led me to her living room.

"I am Zxy Hemendip, Ms. Jay. Your dead husband's...intimate friend."
She froze.
Oh, look at that, she knew who I was!

"How can I help?"
"I need some information, Ms. Jay."
"Do tell."
"Why did you marry Grey?"
"I beg your pardon?" Naturally, she was mad.
"Why did you marry Grey?"
"My husband is...dead. It is highly insensitive of you to talk in this manner", she started to sob.
Gawd.
"I don't mean to be insensitive. But don't you think it was insensitive of you to marry the man I loved?"
"The man you loved? You have plenty of men to love you, I hear."
"How dare you speak to me like that?!"
"Ms. Hemendip, I don't need to justify myself."
"You do. Grey loved me."
"He didn't love you. He loved only me", she said. Poor, disillusioned Shontelle.
"He loved no woman, Ms. Jay", I insisted.
"Ms. Hemendip, I must ask you to leave", she stood up, ready to lead me out.
"He loved only Zed Smith", I continued anyway.
And then the worst thing happened.
The worst thing ever.
She slapped me.
That witch slapped me.
So I slapped her back.
Then she slapped me again.
And we continued to hit each other till it turned serious.
And you'd think I wouldn't strangle her to death, but I would.
I did, it was lovely :D

She was right there, and I just grabbed her neck and held it tight. I could see her turning blue. She couldn't speak. No oxygen supply. She was trying to scream. But no one heard anything. It was a quiet affair. No one would ever know what happened to Shontelle Jay.
But that meant that I had committed another murder.
Damn.
Now I had to hide her.
Or...I could just run away.
I had my huge bonnet on, it wasn't like the house maid had seen me.
So I jumped out of the window and tried to get the hell out of there ASAP.
But who should I run into? -.-
Mario Snako.
Boy. That really wasn't my day.

"I am invited to the Murdochs' for tea. Why don't you accompany us?"

Can't say no, can I?
Besides, Mario hadn't exactly done much damage to me or himself. So, he was okay.
Safe. For now. :P

We proceeded towards their apartment with real things to talk about. He was comforting and caring and told me a little about his life's sorrows and joys.
I actually started considering him as a friend.

Since Mario was always there, he opened the door of the apartment and went in casually.

But no one was to be seen.

Why would you invite someone for tea and not be home? :/
Suddenly, there was the sound of smashing glass and we ran towards where the sound came from. It appeared to be their bedroom.
And dear God, was that Humming inside? :O

"You stole Patricia from me", Andre was saying. "I'll kill you. I'll kill you!"
"Andre, please! No!" Patricia was moaning. "I love Humming! I am sorry!"
"Bah...humbug! Andre's words hardly matter! It's you, Patricia, that my life is all about!"
"Arghhh!" Andre said, and smashed a flower vase.
So, that explained the smashing noises.
Upon taking a closer look, I saw that Humming was stripped down to his waist and Patricia was covered in sheets.
Wow, Humming was quick.

Then I don't know what happened, but Andre realised we were there.
He turned to me.
"You introduced Patricia to Humming. I'll kill you. I'll kill you!"

That's it. No one says "i'll kill you" to me and gets away with it.

The room was full of noise again, all three of them shouting, Mario looking on cluelessly. It was so freaking annoying. Like my head was full of buzzing bees. :/
I grew so mad, I took out my gun.
I decided to take some air shots and get them to be silent.
Then I decided...oh, what the hell? Can't hurt to shoot one of them.
And I did :D
In the order of how much they annoyed me.
Andre, Patricia, Humming.
All dead and gone.
Except Humming was really gone. I couldn't find the douche's body anywhere. Strange. :/
Anyhoo, i was overjoyed that there was Silence once again.
I laughed heartily.
I scared myself a little.

Then I realised Mario was there too.
Crap :/

"What did you do, Zxy?" Mario was, in the world of emoticons, ":O".
"Don't mention this to anyone", I said.
"Zxy...this is wrong."

I still had one bullet left.
Had Mario not been such a wuss, it probably would have remained there.
But he did.
So it was bye-bye Snako! :P