My first reaction was: Oh, crap. You know, I may be all adventurous (God knows I am, Beelzebub!), but there is a limit to how much I can take of it! You may not see it now, because of the whole murdering-ANOTHER-man thing, but I am a nice person. True story. :P
So, I came out of the barn, and who should I see? The bitch of the man bitch. The stupid carriage guy who had the balls to yell his head off at me. ME. ZXY HEMENDIP. So, seeing him right after murdering his master wasn't the best thing that could have happened.
"Where is Gregory?" he said, his gruff accent so pronounced, I swear I may have flinched. Yeah, back then, us royals hated the idea of having anything like simple conversation with people of HIS class. Because, you know, they were like this guy. Frail, shrivelled up and somehow resembling a very old cat.
"Why do you ask?" I said, honestly having nothing else to say to that.
"'e is my master. I am supposed to drive 'im up to the towers. Lady Cumnor wanted to see 'im. Where is Gregory?"
"Well, if he really is your master, I don't think it's appropriate for you to refer to him as Gregory", I said, deviating from the topic. "You MUST address him as My Lord!"
He paused and shrugged. It was the same shrug that Grey had just given.
That man...
"Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to make a move", I said and started to walk away. "Look to your work, there!"
"Wait up, miss!" he said. "Where is My Lord?"
I sighed. It wasn't going to help but I had no other choice.
"Gay is dead", I said. "I mean, Grey", I corrected myself.
"Eh?" he said, looking uncomfortable and confused. Just then, I realised that this wasn't the first time I had heard an uncomfortable and confused person say "eh?" that way. Someone else had said this too....
I looked up at him, my eyes sparkling with something horrible. I couldn't see my own eyes, obviously, but something about the driver's expression made me realise that I probably did look like a she-devil.
That was hot. \m/
"He's dead", I said, not quivery and shaky anymore.
"Dead?" he said, now resuming my previous role of being quivery and shaky.
"Yes", I nodded. "And I suppose you are...Zed?"
He didn't do or say anything. Just stood there, his mouth slightly ajar and his eyes wide.
"Gregory...dead?"
"I can show you the dead body if you can't believe me", I offered.
"But...how?" he said.
"I killed him", I said simply.
"Eh?" he said again in that annoying way.
"Yes", I said.
"You killed 'im?!"
"Yes!"
"Why would you do that??"
"Why? You want to know why????"
"Yes, I want to know why! Much as I despise you", he added.
I sulked. He never will change, I thought. Always the annoying old cat. Which reminded me, I needed to get a cat. I also knew for a fact that Zed was a cat person.
What was he, a girl?
Oh, wait; he was.
And he had probably turned Grey gay. Because I remember, when we were kids, Grey used to hit on me constantly. And he wasn't even the subtle kind. Sure, when we were thirteen, he used to hit on me privately. But by the time I was sixteen, he was doing it in front of everyone. So much so that people who had thought we were an unlikely combination started to believe we were already a couple.
That was a good time. :)
But now that I look back...Grey never used to be alone-alone. He'd always have Zed Smith by his side. Sure, he used to hit on me privately and there was that one time on my seventeenth birthday when we both lost control and snogged and almost made it to second base. Of course, back then, we used to refer to second base as "Jessie's mamma", mamma obviously meaning breasts.
Okay, so we weren't all that subtle!
"You really want to know why?" I said, fuming.
"Yes!"
"Okay...I'll tell you why, you freak! I'm Zxy Hemendip! All my life, I loved Grey. But his mum hated me. So, the bitch took him away and when he finally comes back and we're finally doing it, he shouts out "Zed!". Do you know how that feels? Do you have any idea how that feels, Zed?"
He shrugged again.
"I feel kind of nice", he said. "I mean I am sad that he is dead. And I am mad at you for killing him.But he loved me."
"Aw, is this a dear diary moment?" I said sarcastically.
"I don't have a diary", he said.
"You man bitch!" I yelled. I was so mad at him. I had never been that insulted.
Of course, I am talking about my first life.
"Look, I am going to have to hand you over to the police", he said, walking towards the carriage.
Like I was going to let him.
At that minute, I just wanted to pounce on him and rip his cat-loving heart out.
So, I did :D
I jumped on him.
And to say that he was shocked would be an understatement.
"What on earth are you doing?!"
"You won't call the police!" I said.
"I will! You murdered the man of my dreams!"
"You made the man of my dreams swing the other way!"
"He never really loved you!"
I gasped. That was the second time that a guy (to be precise, a guy like Zed) had insulted me.
"Zed Smith...you're going to be Dead Smith", I whispered.
And when I say these things, you just know I mean them.
And just like that, I dug my nails into his skin till he started to bleed and when he groaned with pain, I strangled him just like I had strangled his super hot and sexy, gay lover. He sounded like he was retching. Oh, yeah; that was the stuff. He tried to beg for mercy...one last cry..."Please...Hemendip..."
But I refused, obviously. I am a merciful woman. Oh, yes, I am. I grant the mercy of death. It may not be peaceful, but I do oblige with peace in the beyond.
He soon lost control and exhaled one last time before finally giving way.
He lingered for a while, but then it was too much. My job was done. Zed Smith had become Dead Smith \m/
I stood up and took a look at his dead body, sighing with the satisfaction that an artist gets on looking at his best piece of work.
Okay, Zed wasn't the best murder ever. But he was one of the really good ones.
However, when I realised that I had just murdered ANOTHER man (I should stop doing that, shouldn't I?), I sighed with distress.
Then, "Eh, well..." I said, sneaking into the carriage to find his Egyptian Mau cat staring at me with the lust that every cat beholds in its eyes.
My new companion would be my new cat, Hilda.

With my newly acquired possession and all my other things, I started out again. This time, I had a plan. I knew where I'd go and I knew who I'd meet.
Lancaster was just about to get lucky!